


Wouldn't It Be Nice

by emmaazhou



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, I Tried, I'm lame, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Singing in the Shower, barbara is kind of just there, but they are supposed to be 18-20 so, ed is harry's friend, harry is a curly giant, harry is a law student, harry zayn and liam are friends, it's not alot!!!, lots of fluff, louis and niall are friends, louis is a drama student, louis is very smol, she doesn't get together with niall sorry, shes just a tool in the story honestly, sorry if its bad, thats only for like half a chapter, this is going to be awkward because I had present day 1d in mind when writing, this was my first fic that i posted, uhhh, well I attempted, what else
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-05
Updated: 2015-09-05
Packaged: 2018-04-19 03:07:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 28,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4730594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmaazhou/pseuds/emmaazhou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Hi,” Louis said.</p><p> “Hey, how are you?” The stranger replied.</p><p>“Were you just singing Wouldn’t It Be Nice?” Louis asked and stepped forward to the handsome stranger.</p><p>“Yeah! By The Beach Boys! It’s not a very mainstream song though.” He answered and definitely not stepping away from him.</p><p>“Well, I do. Really well.”</p><p>Louis Tomlinson liked to sing old songs in the shower. One day, a deep mysterious voice joined him in Uni. They meet in the library. This is what happens.</p><p>(Or the one where Louis is straight drama student with his life planned out with his girlfriend Eleanor, and the stranger who sings with him in the shower changes everything. Featuring Harry as a songwriter with a story to tell, Zayn as the bad boy with an artistic side, Liam as Zayn and Harry’s innocent friend and Niall as Louis’ best friend with perhaps a secret to hide.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Singer

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Veronibell](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Veronibell/gifts).



> This is for Veronibell! I think I went a little bit off topic but I hope you still like it! xx

Louis Tomlinson woke up to the sound of someone shouting. His bed was bouncing and all he saw was a blurry mass of blond hair before he fell face first onto the floor. When he could see properly again, he realized that it was his best friend Niall.

         “Sorry buddy, got a little excited there.” Niall giggled.

         “What time is it and why the fuck did you wake me up?” Louis groaned into his pillow.

         “It’s 5:27am Tommo, and it's our first day of uni now _get up_!”

         Niall started jumping all over Louis’ bed again, yelling all sorts of things that could possibly mean the end of Louis’ ability to hear.

         “You’re cleaning that up,” Louis said when Niall managed to get everything in his room covered in sheets, except for his bed. “This is why you don’t befriend the Irish!”

         Louis and Niall had been friends for a really long time. All throughout primary school Louis had been alone until Niall found him humming songs in the corner of the playground. They became friends fast, Louis being desperate and Niall being the new kid with the “weird” accent.

         They only moved into their Jack-and-Jill rooms a week ago and already it looked far from new. There were clothes thrown everywhere, an overflowing rubbish bin of pizza boxes and beer and a huge stain above the couch that happened a couple of blurry, hung-over days ago. Louis’ side was much worse than Niall’s, since the boy had spent all his time thus far hanging out in Louis’ room. In actual fact, Louis wouldn’t be surprised if Niall kipped on the floor every night, too. But, despite the god-awful smell and the lack of clean things, it was home.

 

*****

 

         The first few weeks of uni went by in a blur, a whole bunch of names to remember, books to borrow, teachers to avoid and classes to skip in the future.

         Louis dropped everything onto his unmade bed from this morning and grabbed his shower basket and a towel.

         The communal shower on their floor was broken, something about a prank that went too far. Everyone had to go down a floor to shower and it was not ideal. Louis liked to take his time when he showered, to sing a couple of songs and pretend that he was in a boy band. He also wanted to style his signature fringe in a well-lit room with a quality mirror, not using his crap phone held by his chemistry books in the closet. (He was able to use a mirror for the first two days of fresher’s, but after Niall thought it was a good idea to play tennis in their shared bathroom, that was no longer an option.)

         Louis walked into the shower block and immediately felt something was off. Yes, he could see all the regulars that showered here in the last month, but he couldn’t see anyone from his floor.

         “Oi, Louis. Your showers are fixed,” a guy he’d seen naked too many times called, noticing his confusion. Louis simply nodded and headed back up.

         The showers on his floor were all new. Everything was rebuilt and funded by some rich kid he didn’t know. Since it was 8pm, it was completely empty; everyone was still out, getting pissed and trying to convince their parents over the phone that they were studying hard. Louis stepped into one of the showers and turned the tap on. The water was burning hot.

         Louis cursed under his breath and turned it the other way, which only made it super cold. He cursed again and somewhere in the showers, he heard a giggle.

         “Not funny!” He called out in response. As he struggled with the tap, he heard a shower being turned on. Footsteps approached across the tiled floor. Then another shower being turned on. More footsteps that got quieter. Louis peaked out of his shower, only to see the shower next to him was turned on, but no one was in there. He tested the temperature and it was near perfect. His first shower on his floor in uni and he needs someone else to turn on the shower for him.

         “Thanks, I guess,” Louis whispered. He moved his things and stepped into the warm shower. It felt like a warm blanket that covered every bit of his body, unlike the ones downstairs, which shot out water like a broken sprinkler.

         Most people sing because they believe that they’re good. Louis has never really sung in front of other people, mainly because his girlfriend Eleanor thought it was annoying. He sung because he could express his feelings in a way no one could understand. The ones who don’t listen carefully enough will only hear the tune and not the lyrics. They’ll only see who Louis is on the outside, not on the inside.

        

         “ _Wouldn’t it be nice if we were older?_

_Then we wouldn’t have to wait so long,”_

         Suddenly, it wasn’t just his voice singing. There was another voice, somewhere in the showers joining Louis. _Great,_ Louis thought, _some high school musical shit._ He kept singing anyway.

 

         “ _And wouldn’t it be nice to live together_

_In the kind of world where we belong,”_

 

         The voice was deep and raspy. It harmonised perfectly with Louis’ higher voice. They sounded so good together, and it was almost as if it had been rehearsed for years.

 

         “ _You know it’s gonna make it that much better_

 _When we can say goodnight and stay together,”_       

 

         This voice was hitting high notes, harmonising at the right parts, letting Louis sing at the parts he loved.

         As the song ended, Louis could hear that the voice was getting closer to him and then far away. He wrapped a towel around himself quickly and peeked out of the shower, hoping match a face with the voice. But the room was empty. He peeked outside of the cubicles and into the halls, but they were also empty. He walked back into the bathroom to get his things, and on the foggy mirror, someone had written:

        

         _See you tomorrow? :)_

         Louis couldn’t help but smile as he tiptoed and rubbed it out with his hand, because the thought of a classmate seeing that and probably calling the police was not ideal.

 

*****

 

         Niall was probably the most well known person in their year, even though classes only started a few weeks ago. He knew almost everyone, had everyone’s number and already had more than five girls sleep over in his room in the past month. (Louis only knew because they shared a bloody wall and it’s seriously not that thick.) So, Louis figured that Niall could probably figure out which guy can sing like an angel on their floor.

         “So let me get this straight. You want me to go knock on every dorm on the floor and ask for the guy who’s deep and soulful voice can make a straight, taken, eighteen year old boy get hard in his skinny jeans?” Niall asked, a look of disbelief on his face.

         “ _You’re_ wearing skinny jeans, Niall,” Louis laughed. Niall looked down at his pants and gasped. He jumped up from the bed and started hopping around Louis’ room – which again, might as well be Niall’s too at this point – trying to pull his jeans off. He threw them at Louis’ face and laid back down on his bed.

         “Put some trousers on, your dick is not in my interest, thank you very much,” Louis deadpanned as he put down the jeans and threw Niall a pair of sweats. He didn’t recognise them, so they probably belonged to the Irish boy anyway.

         “Look, I don’t know why you want to find this guy so much. What are you even gonna say when you see him? _‘Remember the time when we were both naked and sang a song together? Wanna be friends?’_ You’re gonna scare the crap out of that guy.”          “Will you just try, for me? Please?” Louis begged. Niall rolled his eyes and sighed.

         “Fine. What song did you guys sing again?” He asked.

         “ _Wouldn’t It Be Nice_ by The Beach Boys.”      

         Niall blinked slowly, before dropping his head in embarrassment for his friend. “Christ.”

 

*****

 

         Louis spent the next day humming the song whenever someone he thought lived on his floor passed by. Not a single one turned their heads and sang with him. He only got weird looks from the guys he kind of knew. He was looking at the clock the whole day, counting down until it was time to go to the shower.

         By half seven that evening, Louis was already rushing from dinner to the dorms. He put everything down and grabbed his shower basket and rushed to the communal showers. Pushing the doors wide open, he looked around the room. He could hear a shower running. Louis tiptoed inside without really knowing why, and found that no one was in it. That shower was the same one he was in yesterday.

         Louis stepped into the shower and closed the curtain. He heard another shower being turned on right after that and he knew it was _him_. Louis was hesitant to start singing and somehow the guy took that as a hint to start first.

         He sung the same song they sang last time, but letting Louis sing the harmony this time. Their voices fitted perfectly together, with the deep voice of the stranger that contrasted with Louis’s higher voice.

         The voice mashed other songs together with this one, changing notes and belting higher than Louis could ever dream of. If it were possible to fall in love with a voice, Louis would have definitely succeeded.

         The mash-up ended, and there was only one shower running now. Louis turned off his own and walked to the other shower. He pulled open the curtains. It was empty.

         Louis was sure he was singing with a ghost. Or maybe he imagined it? He didn’t know. He looked up at the foggy mirror again, and there was another message.

 

         _You’ll never find me Louis. :)_

It was definitely a ghost.

 

*****

 

         After a week of singing with the ghost, Niall came back with good news.

         “I flirted with the receptionist a little bit and I got everyone on our floor’s information,” Niall said as he dropped a huge stack of paper and files onto Louis’ bed. “You gave me two useless pieces of information but I think I got him.” Niall pulled out a folder from the top of the pile and handed it to Louis.

         “His name is Ed Sheeran. He’s kind of a hipster, studying Music Production. He performs in pubs a lot and writes his own songs. The receptionist said that he sings like an angel. She didn’t say the boner part though.”

         “Can I see a photo?” Louis said hopefully. Niall flipped around for a bit and pulled out a piece of paper. There was a red-haired boy sitting on a stool on a dark stage with a spotlight on him. He was holding a guitar and singing into the microphone, his gaze focused on the crowd before him.

         “What do you think? Is it him?” Niall asks.

         “I don’t know. I guess I would have to hear him sing,” Louis said, looking up at his friend hopefully.

         “What, you mean you want me to do that too? Jesus Christ, Lou, who do you think I am?” Niall sighed. “It says here that he’s usually a walk-in performer so I don’t know where he’s going to be.”

         “If you already know who he is, what’s the rest of this stuff?” Louis pointed at the large pile of paper and files in front of him.

         “I may have gotten the information to the hot girls in uni too.”

         “Why?” Louis asked.

         Niall smirked at a confused Louis. “You’re going to sing hippy old songs with a ginger, I’ve got to shag someone to block the sound out.”

 

*****

 

        That night, Louis went to the showers as usual, but he got there a little later than normal. Both showers were already running as he walked into the bathroom.

         The stranger chose the songs and somehow Louis knew all of them. Louis was imagining Ed in one of the showers; singing with him and it wasn’t bad. He finished showering before the stranger did and he walked to “Ed’s” shower. The shower was turned off once he stopped walking.

         With a shaky voice, he said, “Ed? Ed Sheeran?”

         There was a small laugh on the other side of the curtain that Louis remembered hearing when they first “met” and the shower was turned on again.

         For no reason at all, Louis peaked under the curtains and saw the mystery singer’s feet. He saw a tattoo. There was a tiny screw on his ankle. The stranger stopped moving and turned towards Louis. Suddenly, three more guys came in to the showers. The guy turned around again to keep showering. Louis took that as his hint to leave.

         Okay, this dude is definitely not human.

 

 

*****

 

            Days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months. Louis and the mysterious stranger met up every day at the same time to sing songs together, which somehow turned into Louis’ favourite part of the day. On the days the voice began their duet, it seemed as though it chose songs specifically tailored to Louis’ personality. On the days Louis began, the voice joined in within a few bars, knowing every song word-for-word.

The voice understood him in lyrics and tunes, it was like those quizzes you fill in with songs that describe you, and the voice sung every one.

 

        

*****

 

         Louis was staring at the ceiling with Niall throwing a tennis ball around when his phone started ringing. He picked it up and it showed that it was Eleanor, his girlfriend.

         “Ooh, the Missus is it? Tell her I said hi,” Niall said. Louis nodded and answered.

         Eleanor’s shrill voice rattled through the phone immediately. Louis couldn’t help but compare it to his mystery singer’s deep, smooth voice. “Louis! Hi!”

         “Hi babe, what’s up? Niall says hi by the way.”

         “Awh. Tell him hi back for me.”

         “Sure, will do,” Louis replied, biting his thumbnail. He’d been debating telling Eleanor about the ghost singer for a while, but hadn’t ever gotten around to telling her, lest she think he was cheating or something. Which, that’s stupid, Louis only had eyes for El, no one else. “So um, I haven’t had the chance to tell you this but a couple of months ago in the showers I-”

         “Honey, I don’t have much time so I’m gonna be quick, okay? I would love to hear your story later.” Eleanor said in a hurried voice, and Louis isn’t sure if he’s imagined it or not, but he thought he heard another voice in the background.

         “Yeah, that’s totally fine. So what’s up?” Louis mumbled with a small frown on his face. It was totally not fine. He and Eleanor hadn’t had a proper conversation in a good week or so.

         “I got a new um- job in the uh- photography studio. I’m kinda busy. I can’t make it tomorrow for our date. I’m sorry.”

         “Oh. That’s okay.” Louis tried his best to sound like it didn’t bother him, but it was probably very clear that it did. It’s just, he’d planned this date for a month, and now she wasn’t going to go. Louis isn’t a needy boyfriend, sometimes he just wished Eleanor would make as much as an effort as he did. “I’ll just study in the library with Niall then. I have this project-”

         Louis was cut off by a giggle. “Alright babe, see you soon!”

         The line went dead.

         “She says hi back,” Louis said as he put down his phone. “She can’t make it tomorrow for our date.”

         “Tough isn’t it? El going to a different uni.” Niall commented, throwing the ball in the air again.

         “We’re only thirty minutes away from each other anyway. I can visit her if I want to,” Louis muttered, more to himself than to Niall.

         “Then why don’t you?”

         “She didn’t give me the address.”

 

*****

 

         Unlike most students, Louis actually quite enjoys studying. It’s not like he wants to get good grades, to make his parents proud or whatever. Studying was pretty much copying off a book someone really smart wrote. So technically, it was Louis’ one time to cheat and not get in trouble for it. Niall on the other hand, hated it.

         “I don’t bloody understand why we have to go in to the library, there’s only books and nerds. Its ridiculous.” Niall sighed as he sat down next to Louis on a small table in the middle of the library.

         “Define nerds? Because those dancers in the mini-skirts are in the library and they don’t look like nerds to me,” Louis said without lifting his head from the book he was ‘copying’ from.

         “Just get on with it, I don’t have time for your shit. I got a party to go to.” Niall sighed and flipped a page in his textbook, ripping the one that he flipped over.

         They studied in silence, with occasional people Louis vaguely knew saying hi as they passed by.

         Louis made a playlist titled “Stranger” of all the songs him and the stranger sung together, adding to it each night when he got back. Every time he had earphones in, that was what he was playing. With his playlist and notebooks, he learned about the War of Roses in preparation for his next historical practical lesson, took notes on miming, wrote a draft essay on renewable energy for his next meeting with the Environmental Conservation group, did about two math problems (working out exact positions during a scene using the stage dimensions counts, okay?) and after a little break, he decided to start on his Script Reading project.

         “Niall, where’s my Shakespeare textbook?” Louis asked.

         “The one with the dead couple on it?” Niall asked as he took one of his earphones out.

         “Romeo and Juliet. They’re not- whatever,” Louis sighed.

         “You left it on a bookshelf so I put it in the poetry section. Don’t ask why,” Niall said. Louis got up from his seat with a groan and decided to return the other books while getting his English class textbook from the poetry section.

         There was a stain on the front cover of one of his books that looked like chocolate. As he made his way to the poetry section, Louis tried to scratch it off. He wouldn’t have bothered if it wasn’t directly on a person’s face.

         He was so concentrated on the book that he didn’t even realize when he bumped into someone. All his books went flying and mixed together with the other person’s. They both dropped down to their knees and frantically picked up their books.

         “Oops!” The stranger whispered.

         Louis looked up at the stranger. He had a mop of chocolate brown curls that almost circled his face. The stranger looked up and smiled and Louis saw his deep green eyes. He was so overwhelmed by the beauty of the man that Louis couldn’t do anything but stutter out a small, “Hi.”

         The stranger chuckled, obviously caught by surprise at Louis’ embarrassing outburst. Louis tidied up his books, hiding his flushed cheeks, and looked at the stranger with a face he was sure was stalker-like. He was just about to ask for the stranger’s name when he heard a familiar tune somewhere in the distance.

         “I’m sorry, um, excuse me,” Louis said as he tried to walk past the tall stranger.

         “Yeah, sorry.” The green-eyed boy said. Louis looked back at him one more time and followed the voice. He had to walk around for a bit until he reached the Art History section of the library.

         There was a boy picking out a book while humming _the_ song. His head was shaved and dyed platinum. He was wearing a leather jacket with skinny jeans and Dr. Martens, and was probably the most attractive person Louis has ever seen.

         “Hi,,” Louis said, dumbly.

         “Hey, how are you?” The stranger replied.

         “Were you just singing _Wouldn’t It Be Nice_?” Louis asked and stepped forward to the handsome stranger.

         “Yeah! By The Beach Boys! It’s not a very mainstream song though.” He answered and definitely not stepping away from him.

         “Well, I do. Really well,” Louis smiled.

         “That’s so cool! Wait, Louis, right?” The stranger beamed at him. Louis was so sure it was him now.

         “Yeah! So for the past few months in the shower-” Louis began but the stranger interrupted him.

         “I’m sorry but I don’t really want to talk about that, to be honest. Is that okay?” He said as he picked out a book from the shelf.

         “Yeah, of course,” Louis said. The boy was starting to walk away from Louis now.

         “Hey, there’s a party tonight over in Baker’s hall. You should go.” The stranger said.

         “Wait, you didn’t tell me your name!” Louis said.

         “Zayn. Zayn Malik.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just saying, this isn't a Zouis fic, don't worry.


	2. The Party

 

         “Niall! Niall!” Louis said as he ran back to his seat in the library.

         “Did you get the book?” Niall asked as he looked at Louis. “You didn’t get it?”

         “No, but listen, I found the guy! The shower guy!” Louis exclaimed.

         “It’s not Ed?” Niall asked.

         “No, his name is Zayn Malik. He was humming the song and he recognised me!” Louis said with a huge smile on his face.

         “Oh, Zayn! Yeah, he lives on our floor,” Niall said, a small smile on his face. “Nice lad.”

        “But how come you didn’t find him the first time?” Louis asked.

         “He and his friends threw a huge party on the second day of school. You were with Eleanor. They made a huge mess so they got kicked out of Baker’s Hall.” Niall explained. “They weren’t in the system yet. But they are friends with Ed. I was close at least.” Niall started packing up his things.

         “I’m heading down the Baker’s Hall. You coming?” Niall asked.

         “Where else would I go?”

 

*****

 

         The party was loud and Louis definitely does not throw that word around easily. Baker’s Hall was the complex holding the other boy’s rooms. There seemed to be a different party going on in each room. Niall being Niall was going into every single room and saying hi to every single person. They all knew him of course. Half way through the hallway, there were five huge pieces of tape stretching from the left side of the hallway to the right, separating the parties. There were two kids from their year standing in front of the tape, eyeing everyone.

         “Names?” One of the boys asked.

         “Nialler. Come on man, you gotta know this stuff,” Niall said. The boys took the tape off of the right side and let Niall in.

         “And you?” The boys asked.

         “Louis. Tommo. You guys new or something? You don’t know anyone,” Louis scoffed.

         “Oh yeah. Sorry, come on in.” The boys stepped aside and let Louis in. They walked around for a bit in silence, both greeting familiar faces along the way.

         “Tell me a little bit about Zayn?” Louis asked.

         “Well, he’s very fond of leather jackets and motorcycles. And I’ve heard that he’s bisexual but he doesn’t like putting labels on himself.” They got drinks in red cups and were now making their way to the back of the hallway. “He also looks like he came out of a gay guy’s laboratory. So attractive.” Niall sighed. Suddenly, Louis bumped into someone.

         “I’m so sorry!” The person in front of him said. Louis looked up and he wasn’t surprised at all. It was the same boy from the library.

         “Oops, again” The stranger shouted over the loud music.

         “Hi, again,” Louis screamed back.

         “Let’s go in there, it’s quieter,” the stranger said, indicating to one of the dorms that had a closed door.

         “I’m Louis Tomlinson, by the way,” Louis said once the stranger closed the door.

         “I’m Harry Styles. Nice to meet you Louis.” They shook hands. Harry looked even better than he did in the library, if that was even possible, with the muscle tank that showed off his tattoos and the skinny jeans and gold boots.

         “You’re wearing gold boots,” Louis pointed out dumbly.

         “Yeah, I thought they looked quite good in the shop. Not quite so sure anymore,” Harry smiled. Louis was about to say something, to assure the boy that they do in fact look very good, when the door was opened and the loud music from outside came pouring into their room. Four people came into the room and the door was closed.

         Louis looked at the people who just came in. Zayn was there and he was staring at Louis. Niall was there too and he was talking to someone Louis didn’t know. And next to Zayn was Ed Sheeran.

         “Um, Louis, this is Zayn, I believe you’ve met before.” Harry pointed at Zayn. “This is Ed, He’s my neighbour.” Ed raised his drink at Louis. “I’m pretty sure you know Niall and this is Liam, he shares a bathroom with Zayn.”

         “Ah sick. Me and Niall have a Jack-and-Jill room, too,” Louis said with an uneasy smile on his face. He wasn’t sure if he was supposed to find that cool or not.

         “Pleasure to meet you Louis, Niall has told me so much about you.” The boy who was talking to Niall beamed at him. Liam had a quiff with shaved sides, a look Louis had previously sported but settled for the fringe instead. He had brown eyes and a warm smiled. There was something innocent about him.

         “How do you know Niall?” Louis asked.

         “We’re in the same Music Technology class. We sit next to each other because the rest of the class are all losers and weirdos,” Niall said and Liam nodded.

         The six of them socialised with each other in in the room and Louis talked to almost everyone. The room they were in was significantly bigger than his own. It was also much cleaner than his room. The bed was a few inches wider than his bed, the mattress thicker and the pillows softer. Everything just seemed bigger and better in this room and Louis wondered why he was put into Lenon Hall instead.

         “Hello.” Zayn put his hand on Louis’ shoulder and said. “Here, have a drink.” Zayn handed Louis something in a red cup that Louis gulped down in two seconds.

         “Why is the room um-” Louis began, seemingly not able to articulate right now. Well, Zayn _is_ right next to him, so.

         “A lot bigger than ours?” Zayn finished, smiling when Louis nodded. “Baker’s hall doesn’t hold many rooms but the facilities and dorms are much better. It’s the rich kid building.”

         “So you’re rich then, since you got kicked out of here,” Louis said.

         “Well, rich kids and kids with drugs. You know the saying, strict parents raise sneaky kids.” Zayn smiled. “People tend to like you if you have something to offer them.” Louis nodded and they both looked at the other boys chatting in silence.

         “Out of curiosity, do you have any tattoos on your ankle?” Louis asked.

         “Yeah, a screw. It’s one of my favourite tattoos, actually.” Zayn said. _I knew it, it’s him._ Louis thought. He was happy he found the mysterious singer, and he was also quite drunk.

         It was quite cold in the room, maybe since it’s _fucking December_ and Louis was wearing short sleeves. Louis felt a jacket fall onto his shoulders.

         “You’re shivering. Take it.” Zayn said as he wrapped his jacket around Louis.

         “Aren’t you cold?” Louis said. Zayn shook his head, smiled and left the room.

         Louis wandered around for a bit until he saw Harry standing by himself, staring at Louis. It was probably because Zayn’s jacket looked huge on Louis, even though Zayn wasn’t much bigger or much wider than Louis was.

         He walked towards Harry and there was a smile on Harry’s face as Louis walked. Louis smiled back and leaned on the wall next to Harry, who handed him a beer.

         “So Harry, what brings you to London?” Louis asked.

         “Education, but also to get away from my family for a little bit,” Harry said.

         “Really? Me too,” Louis beamed. “So how do you know Zayn?”

         “We went to College together, Zayn, Liam and I of course. Zayn had to retake a year so we ended up doing our A Levels at the same time. Decided to spend our gap year together, travelling the world,” Harry said. “Liam came with us but he probably called this school twice a week to make sure he could still attend next year.”

         “Sick, mate. I always wanted to see the world, y’know? How did you guys share a room? There couldn’t have been three beds in a hotel room,” Louis asked.

         “Most of the time Zayn slept with Liam. If we had two rooms I got my own. Liam’s closer with Zayn than he is with me,” Harry said.

         “No offense but Liam doesn’t seem like the kind to be friends with someone like Zayn,” Louis said, pointing at Zayn who was smoking something that was probably illegal and then at Liam, who was teaching Niall how to tie a double knot on his shoe.

         “Well, in the world there are dreamers and there are realists. Zayn is a dreamer. He used all his savings since he was a kid to buy a house so he could spray paint the walls. Liam is a realist. He tried to clean the spray paint off with soap. The dreamers need the realists to keep them from soaring too close to the sun. And without the dreamers? Well, the realists might never get off the ground,” Harry said. “They balance each other out. Zayn makes a mess? Liam cleans it up. Liam doesn’t want to try something new? Zayn’ll be the wind blowing behind his back.”

         “What are you studying?” Louis asked suddenly.

         “Law,” Harry said and Louis’s mouth dropped open.

         “Law? That poetic piece I just heard came from a _law_ student? Are you sure?” Louis said.

         “I’m part of the poetry club though, if that helps,” Harry said. “Besides, I could win a case with poetic arguments, you never know. I obviously won the argument here with you, didn’t I?”

         “Aren’t law students boring nerds with suits and glasses? You don’t look the part,” Louis said.

         “What are you studying then?” Harry said.

         “Drama,” Louis smiled and tilted his head. “I fit my subject perfectly.” Harry gave him a once over and nodded.

         “You look like a walking Adidas commercial,” Harry laughed.

         “Hey! Watch it, Harold. You don’t want to make me mad,” Louis said but he laughed with Harry anyways. Throughout their conversation, they had been walking around the dorms and Louis didn’t even notice the noise or the drinks he was pouring down his throat. They sat down on a couch somewhere and Louis was a little bit tipsy.

         “Let’s play a game. I’ll ask you questions and you have to give an answer really quickly,” Harry asked.

         “Isn’t that one of those things you play when you want someone to tell you something they don’t want to tell you?” Louis asked.

         “Maybe,” Harry said.

         “Alright fine. I’ll ask first,” Louis said.

         “Brothers?”

         “Nope.”

         “Sisters?”

         “One, Gemma.”

         “Favourite band?”

         “The Script.”

         “Girlfriend?”

         “Nope.”

         “Boyfriend?”

         “Nope.”

         “Burgers or sandwiches?”

         “Salad.”

         “Wait what the fuck?” The conversation slammed to a halt.

         “What’s wrong?” Harry asked.

         “I asked if you liked burgers or sandwiches and you answered _salad?_ ”

         “What’s wrong with that?”

         “Do you not like burgers and sandwiches or something?”

         “They’re too greasy. I would rather eat something healthy and light,” Harry said.

         “I bet you eat kale too,” Louis joked.

         “I do! It’s my favourite,” Harry smiled.

         “Did I seriously befriend a kale eating hippy?” Louis said.

         “Did I seriously befriend a burger eating yob?” Harry retorted.

         “Well, it’s a one up from a chav, so I’m going to take that as a compliment,” Louis said.

         “My turn to ask,” Harry said as he shifted on the couch so he would be facing Louis. Louis took that chance to look around the party again, noticing that there were a lot fewer people than there were half an hour ago. All the noise had disappeared downstairs onto the lawn. He saw Niall and Zayn pouring beer on other people and onto the floor, and Liam was frantically biting his nails on the side. They are going to get in so much trouble.

         “Brothers?”

         “No.”

         “Sisters?”

         “Four. Lottie, Fizzy, Daisy and Phoebe.”

         “Wow. Home town?”

         “Doncaster.”

         “Favourite Song?”

         “Wouldn’t It Be Nice by The Beach Boys.”

         “Thoughts on same-sex marriage?”

         “What? Um, I support it, I guess?”

         “Boyfriend?”

         “Nope.”

         “Girlfriend?”

         “Yes.”

         “Wait what? You have a girlfriend?” Harry asked. Louis was drunk and dizzy but he could see the confused and hurt look on Harry’s face.

         “Yeah, her name is Eleanor. She goes to this fancy fashion college about thirty minutes away from here,” Louis said.

         “Why didn’t she apply here? I’ve got a friend that is a fashion student here,” Harry said.

         “I don’t know. She nearly didn’t make the deadline though. She had to make sure I got into this school first,” Louis said.

         “Weird,” Harry said.

         “You’re weird, Harold,” Louis said.

         “You’re drunk.”

         “You’re pretty.”

         “You’re drunk, Lou.”

         “I speak the truth when I’m drunk, you know.”

         “Then I wish you were sober.”

         Louis doesn’t remember anything after that.

 

*****

 

         Louis woke up with a massive headache in an unfamiliar bed. He tried to shield his eyes away from the harsh light but failed because it was fucking _everywhere._ He couldn’t understand why someone would be so cruel as to open so many curtains. When he adjusted to the light a little bit more, he saw someone sketching at the desk next to the bed and he recognised the leather jacket.

         “Zayn? Where am I?” Louis asked.

         “You’re in Harry’s room and, actually, in Harry’s bed, too.” Zayn pointed at the bed Louis was sleeping in.

         “What are you doing here then?” Louis said as he pushed off the duvet and sat up to face Zayn.

         “Well _somebody_ had to make sure you didn’t freak out and pass out again.” Zayn laughed. “I’m also here to sketch. The lighting here is beautiful.” He handed Louis his sketchbook, which was open to a page with an unfinished drawing.

         There was a bed on the left of the sketch that was barely drawn with someone sleeping on it. The person’s face was turned into the pillow and their limbs were stretched all over the bed. There was light pouring through the window above the bed, sending streaks of highlights onto the bed and all over the room. There was a messy bookcase to the right of the bed and each book was sketched out as a simple line. There were bags and books and clothes thrown all over the floor of the sketch, making it more realistic as well is beautiful. The bed itself was the only thing that wasn’t finished in the sketch.

         “That’s really good Zayn. Like, really really good,” Louis said.

         “I was going to finish the bed but you moved the duvet, so.” Zayn pointed at the bed and smiled at Louis.

         “Can I keep it? After you finish, of course,” Louis asked. Zayn tore out the page suddenly and handed it to Louis.

         “Nah, it’s finished.” Zayn said as he stood up and walked to the door. “I’ve got a club I gotta go to, see you.”

         “Wait what?” Louis said. “Clubs are on Sundays.”

         “Yeah, today is Sunday.” Zayn tilted his head at Louis.

         “Oh, sorry. I just got mixed up.” Louis said. He was sure that it was Saturday, wasn’t it? He did go to a party yesterday night, right?

         After Zayn left, Louis looked at the sketch carefully. Now he could see that it was him. There was something about the way Zayn drew that captured movement and emotion Louis has never seen before.

         “Hey! You’re awake!” Harry said when he opened the door and saw Louis sitting on his bed. Harry put down everything he had with him and sat down next to Louis. “Did Zayn draw that? Wow.”

         “Yeah, he did. He just left,” Louis said.

         “I just saw him in the hallway. He’s getting better every day,” Harry smiled.

         “But it’s not finished, see the bed and the person. It’s supposed to be me,” Louis said as he pointed at the bed on the sketch.

         “I think it is finished though,” Harry said as he took the sketch from Louis.

         “How? He barely even drew me,” Louis said.

         “Well, maybe that was intentional. The bed was drawn to look like a double bed. A bed that should be shared. I think it’s saying that you haven’t found someone to share a messy bedroom with. It’s empty because _you’re_ empty. Maybe when you do find someone, then the drawing will be finished,” Harry said.

         “You. Law student,” Louis said.

         “I’m a member of the Poetry club too. Don’t forget that,” Harry smiled.

         Louis smiled as well, before frowning, thinking about Harry’s very poetic interpretation of Zayn’s drawing. “I have a girlfriend though. I think I told you about her yesterday.”

         “Yesterday? Right. Well, Zayn doesn’t know that.”

         “Then why did you say it?”

         “I’m not dumb Lou, how many times has she visited you since school started?”

         “Twice.”

*****

 

         Louis tried to ignore what Harry said that morning and focused on going to his classes. That didn’t work. He spent the entire day wondering why Eleanor hasn’t visited him in so long. So he texted her. She replied about five hours later.

         _Louis: Can you come visit me?_

         _El:_ _Sorry babe, I’m way too busy right now. x_

Louis knew that he had to give Eleanor her space because once uni ends, they would be living together and starting a family. He actually liked the fact that they’re not going to the same school. He’s realized that except for Niall, all his friends from secondary school were Eleanor’s friends. Most of the referred to him as ‘Eleanor’s Boyfriend.’

 

*****

         He didn’t expect Zayn to still go shower at the same time now since they know each other and Zayn had drawn him in someone else’s bed. But when Louis walked into the showers one night, it was the same. One shower turned on but empty, one shower turned on with someone in it.

         Louis stepped into the shower left for him and immediately, Zayn started singing. They sang songs they’ve sung before and some new songs. Louis realized that yesterday night, the night of the party was the only night since the first time he showered on this floor that he hadn’t sung with who he now knows is Zayn.

         “Zayn? Zayn?” They finished showering at the same time and Louis stepped out. There was no answer as Louis spoke. There were footsteps somewhere in the bathroom and Louis followed them. He turned a corner and saw Harry.

         “Louis! I um-“ Harry said.

         “Have you seen Zayn? I’m looking for him,” Louis asked. Harry seemed to relax and he took a deep breath.

         “I don’t think he’s in-“ Harry was interrupted again.

         “Someone looking for me?” Zayn said. He was fully dressed but he had his shower basket with him. He must’ve changed when Louis was talking to Harry.

         “There you are!” Louis beamed.

         “I’m gonna go. See you,” Harry said to Louis. Zayn watched Harry leave with a confused look on his face.

 

*****

         Harry walked into his room with his face buried in his hands. He didn’t know what to do. He told Louis it was him singing with him during the party. Sure, maybe Louis didn’t remember that but did Louis think that it was Zayn?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is so much shadiness I'm SORRY OKAY. Just keep reading, I attempt to explain everything in the epilogue.


	3. The Coffee Shop

 

         Winter in London was much prettier than it was in Doncaster. The morning frost made everything glisten and everyone looked more expensive. It was dark before dinner and light after breakfast. Gone were the shorts and tank tops, and in came the long coats, beanies and furry boots.

         The skinny girls and the bigger girls all looked the same and no one was insecure about their body. Louis could stay in his room with a fluffy blanket and watch Netflix all day and no one could make him go outside. Winter was the season of coffee held by gloves, snow angels and most importantly, it was Louis’ birthday.

         He could never have an actual party with his friends back in high school for his birthday because everyone was with their families. But this time, with the broke students and the need to get away from families, Louis could finally have a party. Obviously that means to throw a party on New Year’s Eve and hope people will actually bring him gifts.

        

*****

 

It wasn’t like Louis hated coffee. Maybe a little bit. He used to be able to stay up all night and have energy the next day but now, he has to drink it every day to make sure he can stay awake in his lectures. Some things aren’t nice when he’s older.

         Louis walked to the Starbucks near his halls, hoping to get ahead of the morning craze. He was wrong. There was a mile long line at Starbucks, stretching from the cashier to the next shop outside. Louis wasn’t going to wait in a freezing cold line for a cup of coffee he didn’t want to drink. So instead, he walked back to his dorm.

         On the way he found another shop. It was a bakery called “Barbara’s Bakery” but it had a sign saying it sells coffee, so Louis went in. He ordered his Cappuccino and turned around to walk out when someone crashed into him. The person’s coffee cup went flying and the coffee spilled everywhere. It was on the chairs, the windows, on Louis and the curly headed person in front of him.

         It was Harry. Of course.

         “Oops. I feel like this keeps happening,” Harry smiled.

         “Hi again. I feel like you bump into me on purpose,” Louis said as he picked up Harry’s coffee cup. “This was totally my fault, I’ll buy you another. What do you want? Latte? Espresso?” Louis said as he walked to the cashier again.

         “Actually, uh,” Harry said. He pulled Louis into him so their noses were almost touching. “Hot chocolate.” Louis’ mouth dropped open.

         “Wait, what? Hot chocolate? Why?” Louis whispered.

         “It’s not a secret or anything. You don’t have to whisper,” Harry said. “I pulled you in to see your reaction.” They both sat down on a table that wasn’t covered in hot chocolate.

         “Yeah but why? Do you not like the taste?” Louis asked.

         “The taste of what? Coffee?” Harry said. “I’d like to think about it this way. A latte is coffee. An espresso is coffee. A mocha is coffee.”

         “Yeah, different types of coffee,” Louis said.

         “It’s not types of coffee. Types of coffee is where the coffee beans were grown. This is different.” Harry shifted in his seat. “Tell me something Lou, do you know anyone who likes coffee without sugar, milk, those things? Just by itself.”

         “I don’t think so,” Louis said.

         “Exactly. People only like coffee if they change an aspect of it. Make it cold, make it sweet, make it with milk,” Harry said. “No one _actually_ likes coffee. They like coffee when they change it. People are the same.”

         “What do you mean?” Louis leaned onto the table and closer to Harry.

         “There’s always going to be people in your life that want to change who you are, then say they like you. Sometimes you don’t even realize it. You can’t see sugar when it’s put into coffee, but you can taste it.” Harry leaned in too. “I don’t want to be like coffee. I want to be like hot chocolate,” Harry beamed.

         “Hot chocolate is sweetened, you know,” Louis said.

         “It could be, I’ve just never tried it before,” Harry said. “It’s a metaphor.”

         “You choose your behavior based on their metaphorical resonances,” Louis said.

         “Oh, yes,” Harry beamed. “I’m a big believer in metaphors, Hazel Grace. No, Louis Tomlinson.”

         “Augustus Waters 2.0,” Louis smiled.

         “Nah, he dies of cancer. He did say that there’s no honor in dying _of._ ”

         “How do you think you would die, if you died _of_ something?”

         “Of love, maybe.”

*****

 

         They sat in the small bakery for a while talking about the most random things. It reminded Louis of when he first started dating Eleanor. The excitement, the subtle touches, everything. Except this time, Louis didn’t have the fear of not impressing Harry.

         Their conversations were easy and fun; there was no tension or anything that made Louis nervous. He didn’t question why Louis ordered such fattening food, he didn’t switch the fries to the salad, he didn't squint his eyes in disgust when they went to Louis’ room. It’s not like Louis doesn’t like it when Eleanor does it, he couldn’t believe he landed such a beautiful girl as her. It’s just more relaxing.

         A brunette girl walked out of the back of the bakery. She had long, slender legs that sat on the highest heels Louis has ever seen. She had a tiny waist that was covered by a figure-hugging black colored dress. If her face was covered, Louis would’ve mistaken her for Eleanor. She was so gorgeous. See, Eleanor was pretty. This girl was _gorgeous_. She looked like someone who could make people question their sexuality. She was the kind of girl that looked like she belonged in magazines and TV screens, not standing in front of someone like Louis.

         “Are you guys the boys that spilled the coffee everywhere?” She said as she sat on their table. Actually _on_ their table.

         “Actually it’s hot-” Harry started but was interrupted by Louis.

         “Yeah. We were,” Louis said. He was pretty sure he was staring at her a little too long but Harry on the other hand, barely looked at her.

         “You guys, uh, are a couple?” She asked, pointing at both of them.

         “No no, I’m not gay. I’m straight,” Louis said. He still couldn’t believe he hasn’t looked away yet.

         “I don’t like to put labels on myself,” Harry said.

         “Alright. There’s one label I like to put on me though.” The girl said. She held out her perfectly manicured hand to shake Harry’s. “Barbara Palvin. Indie model and previous Miss United States.” Harry shook her hand. Barbara held her hand out to Louis and he shook her hand as well.

         “So you moved here from the U.S?” Harry asked.

         “Yep, studying here too. Wait.” Barbara said. “I nearly forgot what I came here to say.” She stood up and both boys turned to face her. “You guys got coffee on my grandmother’s old armchair and we have to clean it. Unfortunately the cleaning guys can only come on December 23rd. My family is already gone by then.”

         “What can we do?” Harry asked.

         “You need to work here. Start tomorrow. This way, we can pay for the cleaning of the chair and have the guy come over when someone is here.” Barbara said.

         “And if we don’t work here?” Louis said. This was probably the first thing he has said in ten minutes.

         “Then you are going to pay for the five thousand quid cleaning service and the five hundred quid for someone to run the shop over the holidays. Your choice.” Barbara said.

         “My train leaves on the 24th, you?” Harry asked Louis.

         “Me too,” Louis said without thinking. He actually couldn’t remember when his train was going to leave.

         “Alright then, I guess you pick the easier option.” Barbara said. She threw each of them a red and white striped apron. “See you tomorrow, four o’clock. Your shift is until seven-thirty.”

         “Okay,” Harry said. They both turned back to face each other.

         “She’s so pretty,” Louis sighed. “It’s not fair.”

         “Louis if you looked like that I would be scared,” Harry said. “If you’re jealous of her than I might as well be jealous of Angelina Jolie. Imagine her cheekbones on me.” They both laughed.

         “You didn’t seem interested in her that much though,” Louis said.

         “I know she’s pretty, I get it, but there’s no reason to be interested now,” Harry said. “I want to get to know her first. There’s always a person behind the face everyone sees. It’s a shame that only some try to go past that.”

        

         Harry smiled and took a small drink of Louis’ coffee, then gagged at the taste, making a funny face, which caused Louis to laugh. “I forgot. That tastes horrible.”

 

*****

 

         They were outside Louis’ room when Louis’ phone rings.

         “Oh, it’s my mum. Hold on a second,” Louis said and for some reason Harry’s eyes widened in a way Louis knew wasn’t good. He ignored it.

         “Hi mum!” Louis smiled, enthusiastically greeting his mother.

         “Hey darling, how’s uni?” she asked.

Louis hummed and nodded his head, glancing back to where Harry was standing. “Pretty fun, I told you about Harry, right?”

         “Yes, you did! About ten days ago.”

“Did I? I don’t remember,” he mumbled, racking his brain for the conversation with his mum that he doesn’t remember having.

         “That’s actually why I’m calling. I remember you telling me about breaking-”

Their conversation was interrupted by Harry, who took the phone from Louis and walked to Niall’s room through their conjoined bathroom.

         “Mrs. Tomlinson!” Harry said. Louis walked over to try and get his phone, but failed. “Oh. Jay then.” Harry stepped onto Niall’s desk and pushed Louis off when he tried to go on there too. “Remember the call you got a week and a half ago? Yes. That one. We were messing around with Louis’ stuff. Yeah. It was a prank! Hey, no biggie. See you soon.” Harry stopped pushing Louis away and handed him the phone.

         “What was that for?” Louis said. He couldn’t understand why Harry would take his phone and talk to his mother.

         “When you went got uh, really really drunk we um, took your phone and called your mum,” Harry stuttered.

         “Why? What did you say?” Louis asked.

         “Just random stuff like you know, breaking um, your computer and uh, the classic ‘put some clothes on’ in the background,” Harry laughed nervously.

         “Wow. I really can’t remember anything that happened after we talked. What I do recall is that I called you pretty?” Louis asked. Harry’s eyes widened and he started fiddling with his rings. “Harry? Did I actually say that?” Louis asked again.

         “Um. I think I was drunk too. I don’t uh- remember,” Harry said.

         “Alright,” Louis said. “The law student with a poetic side is at a loss for words. What’s next, open showers on the pavement?” He laughed. “That would be a terrible tragedy. You wouldn’t be able to hear the awful singers wailing high notes clearly anymore.”

         “Who is that referring to?” Harry sounded offended.

         “Me. I’m horrible,” Louis said.

         “You’re not so bad. You’re pretty good,”

         “You’ve never heard me sing,”

         “Maybe I have. We tend to latch on to the first piece of information we’re given and ignore all the other clues, don’t you agree?”

 

*****

 

         Their first shift at Barbara’s Bakery (Which is named after Barbara’s grandmother, not the gorgeous 18 year old they met the day before, they found out) was pretty much an absolute disaster. Harry looked more ‘presentable’ and ‘welcoming’ than Louis to Barbara’s parents, so Harry was the cashier while Louis made the drinks and heated up the food. Also because Louis liked to sneak bites of the warm, fresh croissants they sold.

         They walked into the bakery and the first thing they saw was Barbara. She wore a maroon coloured dress this time and she wore the same apron she gave them, but somehow _prettier._ She had the biggest smile on her face as she gave someone their food. The guy handed her his business card, which she shook her head to and gave back to him.

         After he left, the two boys approached Barbara. “How come you didn’t accept his number? He didn’t look so bad,” Louis said.

         Barbara sighed and fiddled with her apron. “He didn’t even say anything to me. All he did was whistle and hand me his card. I’m surprised I didn’t punch him right there,” Barbara said. “It’s not like he wanted to date me anyways. He didn’t even ask for my name.”       

 

*****

 

         They worked a couple more shifts in the bakery without changing roles because Harry got more numbers than Louis did when they tried. Niall has been strangely absent for the last couple of days but Louis didn’t mind. He had Harry.

         On the 23rd, Louis received an email from thetrainline.com. It was a refund of his train ticket to Doncaster that left yesterday. Wait. Louis’ eyes widened. His train left yesterday. _His train left yesterday._ Louis opened a new tab and at lightning speed he searched London to Doncaster on the National Rail Enquiries website. It was late in the evening so all the trains had left that day, and since the railways were being shut from Christmas Eve until the 27th, there were no more trains to his home that were available.

         His heart was beating in his ears as he tried to think of a way to get home. Niall was heading back to Ireland this year, Eleanor’s family is going on holiday and he doesn’t know anyone else that lives even remotely up north.

         He was fucked.

 

*****

 

         “You didn't tell me it’s your birthday,” Harry said as they walked to the bus station where Harry would leave to the train station in.

         “The party is on New Years Eve. I thought I told you about it,” Louis said.

         “You did. You didn’t tell me what it’s for though,” Harry said. “I got you a present. I was going to give it to you as a friendship gift but it can count for your birthday. But you didn’t tell me and therefore I did not bring it,”

         “That’s okay, show me when you get back,” Louis said.

         Harry stepped onto the bus and sat down on a seat with an open window. Louis walked over to where Harry was. They talked until the door closed and the bus started moving slowly.

         “Send me photos!” Harry said. Louis tried his best to lie, but nothing came out of his mouth.

         “I missed my train. I have to stay in London,” Louis blurted out suddenly. There was a look of shock on Harry’s face as the bus moved on, leaving Louis standing by himself at the empty bus stop. Just as Louis was about to leave, Harry’s bus jolted to a stop and he stepped out of the bus. Harry grinned at Louis as he jogged back to where he was standing.

         “Harry, why did you do that?” Louis asked when Harry reached him. “You’re not going home anymore?”

         “I couldn’t let you spend your birthday and Christmas by yourself,” Harry said.

         “I could’ve managed,” Louis said.

         “I wouldn’t have.”


	4. The Christmas Dinner

 

         “What is that? It doesn’t look like a very big present,” Louis said. They walked back to the dorms in almost silence. Louis was still shocked that Harry gave up a trip to visit his parents just for him. He carefully opened the envelope, trying not to tear anything even though it’s really just a blank white envelope that has his name written in all caps in the front. After about half a minute, Louis was nowhere near done tearing the paper.

         “Just let me do it,” Harry said. Louis handed it over to him and Harry took a knife and sliced it. Louis’ eyes widened because _Harry had a knife?_ “It’s Zayn’s stop looking at me like that,” Harry said with a smile. Harry took out a single piece of paper and handed it to Louis.

         “Wait, a voucher for matching tattoos?” Louis said. “Why would I want tattoo with someone else?”

         “You and Eleanor are probably going to get married after uni, right?” Harry said. There was something off about his tone of voice but Louis ignored it.

         “Yeah, I guess,” Louis said.

         “Tattoos are a promise. You’ll always see it and know that you meant that much to each other at that time,” Harry said.

         “But what should we even get?” Louis asked.

         “I don’t know, ship and compass, dagger and rose, rope and anchor, things like that,” Harry said. “Or the first thing you ever said to each other. That’s fun” Harry was smiling but his eyes didn’t have the happy glow they usually do.

         “I don’t even remember our first conversation,” Louis said. “What if she says no?”

         “Well it’s at your disposal. Do whatever you want with it,” Harry said. “I didn’t even buy it. They gave me it when I got my 40th tattoo.”

         “Why did you get so many?” Louis asked.

         “For months on end I tried to swim without fins,

         To fly without wings, and beat them to win.

         Then they shut my voice for my though was a sin,

         So I purchased a diary and it was my skin.”

 

*****

 

         They decided to work in the bakery on Christmas Eve for the other lonely Uni students who couldn’t afford to go home. Zayn saved up money the entire year just so he could go home for a couple days. He’s coming back on the 26th because it was the cheapest ticket he found. Niall’s family babies him so he doesn’t need to spend his own money to go back home. Liam came from a solid middle-class family so he was fine too. There were some people Louis vaguely knew wandering around campus like lost puppies.

         “I don’t believe in Christmas food,” Harry said. “It’s just a roast dinner. Nothing special.”

         “Well good, because I can’t cook for shit,” Louis said. They were quiet for a while and Louis looked into in the back kitchen from the outside. “Actually, I want to try cooking.” Louis jumped off from the counter.. Harry raised his head from the cash machine for a moment and then went back to counting the money they earned from noon.

         Louis walked into the kitchen and looked at the place in front of him. There were five huge metal containers leaning against a wall that would be filled with pastries when the holidays end. There were three huge ovens that Louis could probably fit in sitting opposite from the containers. On top of one of the ovens, there were four stoves. The kitchen wasn’t big or anything, but Louis realized that was probably because of the size of the objects in there. He walked over to the large fridge and opened it. There was barely anything in there. He found chicken, bread crumbs, ham, cheese, potatoes, cream and a couple of spices. There was just about enough to feed two people. Louis knew exactly what he wanted to make.

         “So what are you making, Rachel Ray?” Harry said when he entered the kitchen and saw Louis taking the ingredients out of the fridge.

         “Ha ha ha. I’m making pizza. Potato pizza,” Louis said with a huge smile.

         “Like, the crust is potato?” Harry asked.

         “Yep! It’s gonna taste really good,” Louis said. He felt like most of the time, he didn’t need to try and impress Harry. But since Louis had pretty much failed his job as the coffee-maker, he needed to show Harry that he could do something slightly domestic without the help of the long-haired giant.

         “It’s not going to work, you know,” Harry said with his hands in his pockets.

         “And why is that?” Louis asked.

         “You have two potatoes, that’s not enough to make the crust even if the crust idea works,” Harry said. “And you don’t have tomatoes last time I checked.”

         “You’re right,” Louis said with a sigh. He hopped onto the kitchen island and rested his jaw on his hand. “I guess I just wanted to do something family related without your help.” Harry’s eyes widened. “What kind of husband would I be to Eleanor if I can’t even cook?” Harry looked at the floor now and shrugged.

         “I guess I could teach you?” Harry said.

         “But then you’re helping!” Louis said.

         “No, I’ll tell you what to do. You do everything. Simple,” Harry said.

         “Yeah but what could we even make, these ingredients don’t match up to anything,” Louis sighed as he jumped of the island.

         “Have you ever heard of chicken stuffed?”

 

*****

 

         Cooking with Harry was one of the most amazing and stressful things Louis has ever done. Louis could throw whatever he wanted at the curly-headed boy, mess up whatever he was doing, and Harry would just smile down at the table and then at Louis. It was stressful because Louis felt like he was doing everything wrong.

         “So basically you just pour the cream mixture I already made into the bowl with the mashed potatoes. Simple,” Harry said.

         “You make it sound so easy,” Louis sighed as he picked up the glass bowl and slowly started pouring the contents into the wooden one. He could already see that he was spilling some onto the counter.

         “Hey, are you okay?” Harry asked.

         “Just, I don’t know,” Louis sighed. “I don’t really like it when people say things are easy to another person who’s totally different. I can’t live up to your standards, you know?”

         “Let me guess, Eleanor?” Harry said and Louis gave a slight nod.

         “She kind of assumes I can do everything she can do,” Louis said.

         “Some people say that as an encouragement,”

         “You haven’t met Eleanor. Everything has to be perfect with her,”

         “So you assume that I’m exactly like Eleanor?” Harry said. “I know she’s your girlfriend but no offense, I’m nothing like her.”

         “You’re a tall perfectionist brunette with great legs,” Louis said. “Tell me you’re nothing like her.”

         “Well, where is Eleanor right now?” Harry asked.

         “Doncaster,” Louis said.

         “And where am I?” Harry asked.

         “Bathing in cream sauce!” Louis said as he threw the rest of the cream right at Harry, who stepped back a second too late. He was completely covered in white, it was dripping down his hair and his shirt was sticking to his chest.

         “That was so,” Harry said as he picked up some cheese from the counter. “Cheesy!” he said as he threw it at Louis, who obviously didn’t realize and will probably be picking cheese out of his hair for the next couple days. Louis laughed and jumped onto Harry, covering himself in cream sauce and Harry in cheese.

         Harry picked him up like he weighed nothing and spun him around the room while Louis tried to grab more ingredients and put them on Harry’s face. They laughed and screamed and made a huge mess in the kitchen.

         “Barbara’s going to kill us,” Louis laughed as Harry put him down.

         “Then maybe she just won’t find out,” Harry said as he leaned down to pick up a plastic container they dropped. He continued to go around the room picking up trash and containers that they knocked over.

         “Are you seriously cleaning up? We haven’t even made the food yet!” Louis said.

         “Just a second,” Harry said. “Start stuffing the mash in the chicken?” He asked. Louis didn’t understand the recipe that Harry gave him. It was strange in so many ways and most of it was in Harry’s mind. They were constantly changing what they were doing and Louis is pretty sure that Harry is as clueless as he is.

         Louis looked at the mash in the bowl in front of him, and then at the cheese. He doesn’t feel like he wants to follow what Harry said because he’s a poetic hipster giant, no offense even though Harry’s not even there. So instead of putting the mash inside of the chicken breast, he put the cheese in there. He was 99 percent sure Harry was going to kill him, but quoting the man himself, ‘maybe he just won’t find out’.

         “Wow! The chicken looks great!” Harry said when he walked in. Louis quickly pushed the cheese away from him and held on to the bowl of mashed potatoes.    “Yep, pretty proud of it myself.” Louis smiled, maybe a little too big. Harry smiled back and came up behind Louis, his chest and Louis’ back touching. He guided Louis through the whole process of making the so called “Chicken Stuffed”. Covering the chicken with bread crumbs. wrapping the ham, adding texture to the rest of the mash, sprinkling the cheese that Harry assumed were all spilled onto the floor and so on.

         “This is my first time cooking, you know,” Louis said. “Thanks for making it awesome? I guess,” he said as Harry put the chicken into the oven. They walked out to the main shop area and sat down on the spot they sat on a week earlier and it seemed like a month ago.

         “I feel so bad,” Louis said as he leaned back into the chair.

         “Why is that?” Harry asked.

         “You gave me the voucher, you taught me how to cook, you abandoned your family so I wouldn’t feel lonely,” Louis said. “I just feel like I’m not giving anything back.”

         “It’s fine anyways. I’ve always given more than I’ve received,” Harry said.

         “Yeah, but what do you get out of this? What’s your benefit?” Louis asked.

         “I get to see you.”

         “How is that a benefit?”

         “You have no idea.”

 

*****

 

         They sat back down on their table by the window after the food was out of the oven. Instead of their phones and paper cups in front of them, this time they had two plates of hot food. Harry somehow didn’t even notice the cheese inside the chicken, and Louis forgot about it until now.

         “Wow, the mash inside is really good. It tastes almost like cheese,” Harry said when they both took their first bite.

         “That’s actually just cheese. I stuffed cheese instead of mash,” Louis said. He was half smiling and half scared that Harry would freak.

         “Well it tastes way better than what I’ve cooked before. Maybe this is how we should make it from now on,” Harry beamed.

         “When are we going to make this again?” Louis asked.

         “This is the first year out of the three years of uni. Of course we are going to make it again.” Harry took a huge bite that shocked Louis.

         “That’s the good thing about food, you can always make the same thing again,” Louis said, trying to take an equally big bite and ended up choking and coughing it all out.

         “No, that’s not true Lou,” Harry said. “You can’t make the same thing again.”

         “You can relive the memory you had when you made it the first time,” Louis said.

         “Yes, you might remember it but you can’t relive it,” Harry said. “You might be cooking in the exact same place, using the exact same ingredients, but it’s not going to be the same.”

         “How?”

         “When is it ever going to be a snowy December 24th, an hour before midnight when that morning Harry Styles stopped a double-decker for the lo- um, friend and they used what was left in the bakery fridge to create a meal that ended with a food fight and a cheesy surprise?” Harry said. “You can never relive a moment no matter how much you try to recreate it.”

         “So recreating the night I kissed Eleanor the first time under the stars would not be a good anniversary date?” Louis asked.

         “There are two reason why you decided to go with that,” Harry said. “One, you’ve ran out of ideas and you know she liked it when you did it the first time, so you go with the safe date,” Harry shifted in his seat. “Two, you want to remind her what it was like when you were romantic and fun and eleven years old. You want to remind her of the good old days before trains, phone signal, college and life got in the way.”

         “How did you know I was eleven?” Louis asked.

         “I um, guessed,” Harry said.

         “Then what would be a good date?” Louis asked.

         “Take her ice skating,” Harry said.

         “Why would that be a good date? I can’t skate for shit,” Louis said.

         “Ice skating in the snow is one of the most romantic dates you can ever go on,” Harry said. “Sharing a hotdog, drinking hot coco, giving her your jacket, things like that.”

         “I thought you’d go all poetic with it, Curly,” Louis said. “I guess I was right then.”

         “Right about what?” Harry asked.

         “You’re a sappy romantic,” Louis answered.

         “I thought you were going all poetic with that, Lou,” Harry smiled.

         “You know I’m not like that,” Louis said.

         “You know I know you’re not trying,” Harry responded.

         “You know I know you know I’m not smart enough.”

         “You know I know you know I know you can do better.”

         “You know you’re confusing me.”

         “You know that I know you’re not confused.”

         “Then you don’t know me well,” Louis retorted.

         “We did meet two weeks ago.”

         “Then how come I feel like you’ve known me my whole life?” Louis asked.

         “Because we tend to get along with people who remind us of people we’re close with,” Harry answered

         “Who would you remind me of?” Louis asked.

         “What’s your favorite song again?” Harry asked.

         “Wouldn’t It Be Nice by the Beach Boys,” Louis said. “Why do you want to know?”

         “No reason.”

 

*****

 

         An hour into Christmas Day, Louis and Harry were walking back to the dorms. There wasn't anyone on the streets and most windows were dark. All the Christmas music had faded away and it was so quiet, Louis could hear the snow being kicked by his shoes off to the side of the streets. Louis could barely see his fingers, or Harry. There was only one light covered in snow on every block they walked, and they were barely glowing.

         “I thought people would be with their families,” Louis said. “Why is it so dark?”

         “We’re in a uni area in London,” Harry said. “It’s not exactly the best family gathering place.”

         “Right,” Louis said. “I just felt like it would be more festive, you know, everywhere.”

         “Maybe we can go to our room, if you want,” Harry said. “We can decorate it with lights and things.”  Louis had butterflies in his stomach all of a sudden and all he could think of was when Harry said ‘our.’

         “Louis? You alright?” Harry asked.

         “Yeah, yeah. Let’s go to your room.”

         Louis walked in silence while Harry chatted quietly about some adventure he had with Zayn. It seemed like everything Harry talked about happened within the last two and a half years. Louis didn’t know why but he felt like it wasn’t his place to ask about it.

         Harry pulled out his key and opened the door to his dorm. He held the door open and let Louis in first. Before Louis could turn on the light to the room, he tripped over a string and suddenly the entire room lit up with lights. It looked so different from what it was like the last time Louis was here, which he realized had be longer ago than he thought. Harry’s bed had the softest, whitest duvet Louis has ever seen, and a new, bigger mattress that could fit two people. The couch Zayn sat on to draw Louis was replaced by a much smaller couch that more resembled an armchair.

         Every corner of the room was lit by fairy lights that looked like they were carefully placed and planned to make sure they lit up the right way. It was beautiful but also strange. Why did Harry’s room look like this? And why didn’t Louis know about it?

         “Shit. Forgot about that,” Harry said as he closed the door behind him. “Surprise, I guess.”

         “What- I don’t understand?” Louis said without looking away from the scene in front of him. “What is this for?”

         “I wanted to make it festive?” Harry said with a hint of uncertainty.

         “But you weren’t going to be back for another week,” Louis said, bemused. He could see that Harry was struggling to come up with an explanation for his actions, so he decided to take over.

         “Well there’s no way we’re taking this down now.” Louis smiled and held Harry’s hand. “It’s beautiful, I love it.” Louis could see the smile slowly building onto Harry’s face, reminding Louis that he was a year younger than everyone in their grade.

         They sat down on the bed and talked about nothing, Louis’ head lying in Harry’s lap as his eyes wandered around the room of lights. Harry played with Louis’ hair with one hand and Louis was playing with the other.

         “If you still want to, I can be the cashier and you can be the barista,” Louis said after a bit of silence.

         “Wait, are you serious?” Harry asked. “Why would you give up sneaking bites of food?”

         “I can only make tea if I’m in a good mood, and you can create recipes,” Louis said. “I’m being realistic here.”

         “Really?” Harry said. “You’re not joking. You just asked if I wanted to be the barista.” Excitement was building in Harry’s voice and he wasn’t playing with Louis’ hair anymore.

         “Yeah, sure,” Louis said.

         “Wait but what do you get out of this?” Harry asked.

         “Why can’t you appreciate someone doing something genuinely nice to you?” Louis asked.

         “Because no one has done that for me. Ever,” Harry said, looking away from Louis. They were quiet for a while, all hands and touching froze and Louis knew he had to comfort Harry and not confront him.

         “I’m tired. And there’s one bed. Wanna cuddle?” Louis asked. Harry turned around to look at him with the biggest smile on his face.

         “Always.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just imagine Harry with his tongue stuck out while he hangs up those fairy lights. Just imagine him falling off the chair he stood on and cursing under his breath. Just imagine the smile on his face when he finishes, knowing how happy Louis is going to be.


	5. The Falling Apart

 

         Louis couldn’t believe how many people turned up to his party. Turns out being friends with a leprechaun, a vogue model and a clumsy man-child made his status higher than it had ever been before. Every person Louis has ever spoken or seen in the last six months were gathered in their dorm building and even some new faces that probably brought illegal things to the party.

         The common room became a dance floor, all couches and chairs pushed to the side as made-out spots or for loners. Harry’s room became the gift room and all of them were dumped onto the armchair that replaced the couch. Louis still has no idea why Harry took the couch away.

         They had been sleeping together in Harry’s new bed ever since Christmas and Louis can’t help but snuggle even closer to Harry during the night. Harry was bigger and taller than him but Louis felt protective over him. It wasn’t like anyone was going to hurt him, but having his arm draped around Harry at night made it easier to sleep.

         Louis had accidentally opened the door to his room at the start and now it’s filled with people. At least he doesn’t have anything important in it. He stumbled drunkly around the building, raising his never-empty plastic cup at people who say ‘Happy Birthday’ and occasionally hugging the people he knew well.  After a while the room started spinning as a curly-headed giant walked towards him.

         “I thought I’d run into you,” Harry said as he took Louis’ plastic cup and helped him stand still again. Harry had dark circles under his eyes that looked like they were covered by make up. But Louis couldn’t focus on anything at that moment so he ignored it.

         “It’s my party baby Hazza, why wouldn’t you run into me?” Louis said. His speech came out slurry and unevenly pitched but Louis didn’t care.

         “I just thought you’d be with Eleanor or something, it’s your birthday,” Harry said as he led Louis away from the alcohol and down the hallway.

         “Smart but not so smart are you, Hazza? My birthday is not today! It was on the 24th! Ha, ha, ha,” Louis shouted. He didn’t even realize that Harry had pulled him into the gift room and they were once again surrounded by fairy lights.

         “I just thought she would come by,” Harry said. “Never mind then.” He sat Louis down on their bed (is it _their_ bed now?) and brought a couple presents over to the drunk boy.

         “Ooh! Presents! I like those,” Louis said. He was pretty sure he was half conscious during the whole conversation.

         “Let’s open some of these so your brain doesn’t shut down like last time,” Harry said. Suddenly his eyes widened and he looked at Louis as if he was hoping Louis didn’t hear something.

         “Alright but I choose which one I open!” Louis said and Harry let out a sigh. Louis stood up at looked over at all the gifts he could choose from. “Do I really have that many gifts?”

         “How many do you see?” Harry asked with a concerned tone.

         “Around a hundred,” Louis said.

         “Okay. Alright you’re not that drunk,” Harry said as Louis bent down to pick up a couple of shiny gifts.

         “These are shiny. I want to open the shiny ones,” Louis said as he sat down on the bed, making all the presents Harry put down bounce off the bed.

         “Don’t judge a gift by its wrapper Louis!” Harry giggled.

         “Well this one is shaped like an iPhone so I will judge it,” Louis said as he opened the gift. It wasn’t an iPhone but instead, it was a mini board game.

         “Mini monopoly! Nice,” Harry said.

         “Why isn’t it an iPhone?” Louis asked. “I don’t want this.”

         “You have a phone already Louis,” Harry said as he put the lid back on the gift and put it aside. “And besides, we’re all first years, you really think a bunch of drunk teenagers will buy you an iPhone?”

         “I thought people liked me,” Louis pouted.

         “People do like you Louis, but you can’t measure how much someone likes you from what they buy you,” Harry said.

         “Well you like me, right?” Louis said. Harry’s eyes widened again and he looked down at the floor. “We’re like best friends Harry.” Harry seemed to relax from that and looked at Louis again.

         “Yeah, we are,” Harry sighed.

         “You get me stuff. You did the fairy lights, the tattoo, and other things!” Louis said.

         “That’s just me, Lou. That’s just me,” Harry said. Louis could hear the party slowly moving outdoors, meaning that it was almost midnight. His head hurt from all the alcohol he had drank he couldn’t even see Harry’s face clearly anymore.

         Louis was confused because he hadn’t drunk anything in the last 30 minutes, why did his head hurt now? He obviously didn’t listen during science class or health class so he had no idea what was going on.

         He tried to focus on Harry and what Harry was saying but the voices were muffled. He put his hands on his head and tried to squeeze the pain out but it didn’t work. Then he heard chanting outside the building.

         “Ten! Nine! Eight!” Louis didn’t know where to look.

         “Seven! Six! Five!” He set his eyes on Harry, who was looking at him with a slightly scared but brave expression. Harry was leaning in. Did he want to tell Louis something?

         “Four! Three! Two!”

 

         And that’s all Louis remembered.

 

*****

 

         “SHIT!” Harry heard Louis scream as he entered Louis’ dorm room. He was running all around the room, throwing his clothes (or Niall’s?) into the closet and kicking things under the bed.

         It had been two weeks since the New Year’s Incident and Harry was pretty sure Louis still has no idea what happened. Louis was so tipsy that night, Harry almost felt like he was taking advantage of him. But then again, Louis pulled Harry in. Harry was all kinds of confused at this moment.

         Through all the things that happened, Louis still treats Harry like a best friend, nowhere even near a boyfriend level. Every time Harry thought they were close, Louis would say things such as ‘you’re such a good friend’ or ‘you’re my best friend forever’ and ruin the whole thing.

         Harry knew it wasn’t his place to decide who Louis likes or what he chooses to believe but he just wants Louis to use common sense and look through the masks for once. If the space around the eyes are the only thing that you can’t see, how is it so hard to know what’s behind it? After all the clues, why hasn’t Louis caught on?

         “Shit, shit, shit,” Louis whispered to himself, interrupting Harry’s thoughts.

         “Um, Lou,” Harry said. Louis didn’t stop attempting to ‘clean’ his dorm room. “Louis,” Harry said again, hoping to stop Louis from running around.

         “What do you want?” Louis said in a rushed and annoyed tone.

         “What are you doing?” Harry asked, stepping closer inside not only to find the clothes Louis had thrown around ended up all over the floor.

         “Eleanor just texted me. She’s coming over in half a fucking hour,” Louis said as he scooped up the clothes from the floor and shoved them all in the closet. “She didn’t even tell me beforehand,” Louis said.

         “That doesn’t explain why you are throwing your clothes around,” Harry said.

         “Eleanor. She doesn’t like messiness. I have to clean it up before she rages at me,” Louis said between pants.

         “Okay,” Harry said uncertainly. “Can I help?” Harry knew that he didn’t really want to help because Louis’ relationship with Eleanor was more bullshit than anything he had seen before. She rarely came to see him, hung up on him, never let him talk and basically didn’t care about him. But Harry knew that his image would be much better as a caring friend than as a jealous admirer.

         “No. Actually, make Niall’s bed and sit on it. Also be quiet,” Louis said.

         “Why? You guys don’t share a room or anything,” Harry said.

         “ _Just do it!_ I don’t have time to reason with you!” Louis yelled in panic. Harry walked over to Niall’s bed slowly, getting pushed away a couple times by a Louis he has never seen before. He simply picked up Niall’s duvet and put it down. Then he sat down and watched Louis. Louis turned around all of a sudden and squints at Harry.

         “Don’t make it like that! Do it properly!” Louis said as he ran across the room and pushed Harry off the bed. Louis quickly tucked all the corners in and left a tiny space for Harry to sit. He pushed Harry’s shoulders down onto the bed and went back to cleaning his room.

         After about five minutes, the room looked presentable. Louis made Harry turn away from him as he changed his shirt and Harry wondered why. Did Eleanor have a particular dress code that Louis had to follow?

         When Harry turned back around, he couldn’t believe what Louis was wearing. Louis had on a skin-tight black long-sleeve shirt that was two sizes too big (it was probably his anyways) and blue jeans that were definitely not skinny jeans. He was wearing dress shoes that looked like they belonged in the dusty box at the back of the closet where Louis probably found them. Louis looked nothing like Louis.

         But before Harry could say anything, there was a rhythmic knock on the door. Louis took a deep breath and walked over to open the door. In front of Harry stood a tall brunette with a shiny gold jewelry all around her.

         “Hi! I’m Eleanor.”

 

*****

 

         It didn’t matter how much hatred Harry had for Eleanor even before they met, there was jealousy behind all the glares he was giving her. She was perfect. The slim, tall figure, her wide eyes, shining hair and flirty personality. She was the kind of girl that Louis deserved. Louis deserved a beautiful girlfriend that made the other boys jealous. He deserved to be glared at like Harry was glaring at Eleanor and he deserved the pride in holding his head up high.

         But Harry couldn’t believe how different Louis was around Eleanor. He finally realized why Louis changed his outfit. He was trying to hide his tattoos. Every time the sleeve slightly started to shift up, he would quickly roll it down again. Whenever Harry tried to tell Eleanor something about Louis all Louis did was talk over him or laugh really loudly about something that probably never happened.

         He didn’t know how to feel about this, about Louis being a completely sensible and responsible looking person in front of his girlfriend and a completely mess of a teenager in front of him. He felt like he wasn’t looking at the Louis he knew anymore. He was looking at someone Eleanor manipulated into a perfect robot.

         And he hated her for that.

 

 

*****

 

         Harry was asked to leave the dorm for a couple hours and he didn’t get the hint until he saw them lying on Louis’ bed, making out. He did not want to be there for that. So instead, he walked around the area playing his Louis playlist for a while until he found a pub Ed usually played at and went in.

         He saw Ed bowing to the standing audience as he walked up next to the stage. Ed took off his guitar and sat down on a stool next to Harry.

         “Hey Haz. Why aren’t you with Louis?” Ed asked.

         “His girlfriend is here,” Harry sighed. “They’re having sex as we speak.”

         Ed grunted sympathetically, patting Harry on the back. “But speaking of couples getting it on, the other day I was performing at that pub near the Arts College the other day and this couple was just making out in the middle of my act. It was very distracting.”

         “Wow. How did you even deal with it?” Harry said sarcastically.

         “I don’t know actually. The guy had hair exactly like yours but he put gel in it so it looked greasy and shit. The brunette had all these gold bracelets and jewelry all over her.” Ed said. “It was blinding me and I got quite pissed actually.” Harry took out his phone and pulled out a photo.

         “Does she look like this?” Harry asked.

         “Oh yeah! That’s her! Do you know her?” Ed said.

         “Not really,” Harry said as he looked at the photo one more time.

         “Do you at least know the girl’s name?”

         “Eleanor. Eleanor Calder.”

 

*****

 

         When Harry got back to campus, Louis’ room was dark Eleanor was collecting her things. Harry couldn’t really process what Ed told him in the pub and he wasn’t sure if he should tell Louis or not. He wasn’t even sure if it was actually her.

         “Harry! I’m so glad you’re back!” Eleanor said when Harry stepped inside the outrageously clean room.

         “Yeah, I guess,” Harry said. “Can I talk to you Eleanor, like-“

         “Well I’m actually leaving right now, how about you walk me to the bus?” Eleanor interrupted. Louis beamed at Harry, a silent ‘please’ showing through his eyes.

         “I don’t see why not,” Harry sighed and Eleanor smiled at him. He led Eleanor out of their dorm building and tried not to think about the lingering goodbye kiss. They were walking down the road and Harry only nodded at the floor whenever Eleanor tried to engage in conversation. Eleanor turned a corner that definitely didn’t lead to the bus stop and suddenly Harry was pushed against a wall.

         “Wait, what are you-“ Harry said but was interrupted with Eleanor’s lips on his. He was so shocked he couldn’t move, and when he realized what was happening, he pushed her away.

         “What the fuck?” Harry said. Eleanor didn’t even flinch before going back to kissing him. Harry pushed her away again and stepped out onto the main street.

         “What’s wrong Harry?” Eleanor asked in the most innocent voice ever.

         “You’re dating Louis!” Harry said and pointed at the dorm building behind them.

         “So? He’ll never know.” Eleanor said as she leaned in again.

         “What if I tell him?” Harry said, pushing her away and keeping his distance.

         “Oh pretty boy, you don’t have the guts.” Eleanor smirked. “You’ve known him for what? Ten weeks? I’ve known for ten years.” Eleanor said. “Who would you believe? His loving girlfriend for most of his life or a gay-ass college boy whose sexuality is so fucked up he can’t even leave a perfectly straight boy alone?”

         Harry walked up to Eleanor where he was only an inch away. He stared down at her with the most threatening expression he could manage.

         “Insult me? Fine. Cheat on Louis? You’re dead to me. Stay away from me, Eleanor,” he warned. “And you stay away from Louis.”

         “Please, you can’t stop me.” Eleanor stepped even closer.

         “If you ever hurt Louis, you’ll be sorry.” Harry turned around and walked back to the dorm, leaving Eleanor in the middle of the street. He had tears streaming down his face.

         Should he tell Louis? Or should he let Louis find out himself? He didn’t know. All he knew was that Eleanor was a fucking liar who couldn’t appreciate how lucky she was. And he was going to make sure that the next time Louis goes on a date with Eleanor will be the last.

 

*****

 

         It was a couple hours after his date with Eleanor when it happened. Louis had just switched from being the barista to the cashier, somehow getting more customers in the shop because they could make the drinks and pastries faster. Louis just assumed it was because he was better looking. They had no classes that day but Harry was late. About half way through a tired and weary Harry pushed the doors open and walked in with his head down, hair covered in a beanie.

         “Oi, Hazza! You’re late!” Louis said. Harry ignored him and walked into the kitchen without talking. Louis didn’t know what was going on so he went back to smiling at the people he was serving. A couple minutes later Harry came out with the uniform but still wearing the beanie. It seemed like something upset him but usually, Louis would’ve known by now.

         “Harry, talk to me,” Louis said and put his hand on his shoulder. Harry waved him off and didn’t look at Louis even once. Louis sighed and decided to make the conversation about him.

         “So did you like Eleanor? Isn’t she just the sweetest person ever? She seemed to really like you, I was so glad! And did you know that-” Louis was interrupted by Harry.

         “She’s cheating on you,” Harry said.

         “What? What do you mean?” Louis said.

         “When I was walking her to the bus, she shoved me against a wall and she kissed me,” Harry said. Louis wanted to accuse Harry of lying, but he looked so genuine. “And Ed saw her kissing another guy in a pub.” Anger started building inside of Louis, but he didn’t know whom he was angry at.

         “You know what Harry?” Louis said. “I get that you don’t like her, I’ve known that since we met. But she’s my girlfriend. You don’t have to make up some lie just because she hasn’t visited me in a while!”

         “I’m not-”

         “Just forget it! I can’t believe you would do this to me. I thought we were friends,” Louis said as he grabbed his jacket and walked out the door. He was still confused. Of course Eleanor wouldn’t cheat on him, they’ve been together for the longest time and they both love each other. Did Harry really have to stoop that low just because he doesn’t like her?

         Louis ran back to the dorm and he thought he heard Harry shouting his name but he didn’t turn back. He slammed the door to his room and opened his phone. He clicked on Eleanor’s face to call her.

         He gripped his phone tight as it rung three times before Eleanor picked up. “Hey Louis, what’s up?” Eleanor said. She sounded distracted but Louis was too mad to care.

         “Wanna fuck?” Louis’ voice almost sounded like a growl. There wasn’t any sound on the other end and for a second, Louis thought that she hung up.

         Louis could hear the smirk on her face as she spoke five words before she hung up. “I’ll be there in ten.”

 

*****

 

         After Eleanor left, Louis realized that he had over thirty missed calls from Harry and twenty voicemails. He wasn’t in the mood to deal with him so he went to shower, hoping to be able to sing with Zayn. Surprisingly, there weren’t any showers turned on when he went in. Louis still couldn’t figure out how to turn the water to the right temperature so he waited for Zayn to show up while standing in a different stall.

         About ten minutes later, someone whose footsteps were way too familiar to Louis walked in. Zayn stopped in front of the stall Louis was in and chuckled a little. He walked into the shower next to him and turned it on. Then after that, Zayn walked down to the shower he was always in and turned that one on too.

         Louis stepped into the shower prepared for him and cleared his throat. There was so much he wanted to sing about, he didn’t know what to sing, so he let Zayn choose. Weirdly, Zayn chose a bunch of happy break-up songs and some songs about the person being better than his or her boy/girlfriend. Louis was a little confused at the start but he knew all the songs so he just went with it. Maybe Zayn had a tough day too.

 

*****

 

         Louis was still trying to avoid Harry when everything fell apart. Harry was quietly working behind him and Barbara came to talk to Louis.

         “Hey Lou, you don’t look very happy.” Barbara said. “What’s wrong?”

         “Nothing, I’m fine,” Louis said a little too harsh than he wanted.

         “I can help you if you want, just a little?” Barbara said as she lifted his chin and leaned in. Did she want to make him feel better by kissing him?

         “No, I’m good.” Louis moved away. “I have a girlfriend,” he said and emphasized on the “girlfriend” part, purposely aiming it at Harry. “She goes to your school actually.”

         “Ooh, really? Let me guess.” Barbara put her elbows on the counter and rested her face on her hands. “What does she look like?”

         “Brown wavy hair, brown eyes, and she’s a fashion major,” Louis said.

         “Wait, I’m a fashion major. She should be in my class.” Barbara said. “Is it Beth? Sandra? Katie?” Louis shook his head to all of those names.

         “Her name is Eleanor. You know, Eleanor Calder.” Louis was almost proud to say that Eleanor was his girlfriend but Barbara’s facial expression didn’t match what he had in mind.

         “Eleanor Calder’s boyfriend is Max Hurd.” Barbara said. “They were kissing the other day in the pub near-“ Louis didn’t let her finish before he stormed out the bakery.

         His heart was beating in his ears and cold sweat was dripping down his neck. He didn’t know what to believe anymore. He didn’t believe Harry because Harry didn’t know Eleanor. But Harry mentioned the kissing in a pub as well when he tried to tell Louis, so he knew Harry couldn’t just straight up lie about it.

         But then again, he trusts Eleanor. She had been there for him through thick and thin, and Secondary School was the best time of his life because Eleanor was right there with him the whole time. Lately she had been more distant but that doesn’t mean she could cheat on him. Maybe this Max was just a family friend or maybe she was drunk. Maybe they were playing truth or dare that day.

         Louis got so carried away with his thoughts that he didn’t even realize he was taking the bus down in the direction of Eleanor’s school. He needed Eleanor to set the record straight, to tell Harry and Barbara and anyone else who thought the same that they were together and Eleanor would never ever cheat on him. He got off where he thought was the entrance and stopped the first person he saw.

         “Hello, do you know where Eleanor Calder lives?” He asked. The girl looked at him for a second before speaking.

         “Are you Louis Tomlinson? Because El told us if someone called Louis Tomlinson came we couldn’t tell him where she lived.” The girl said. Louis was confused. Why would the girl ask him if he was Louis and then tell him she wouldn’t tell him where she lived if he was? And why did Eleanor tell her classmates to do that?

         “No, Sandra.” Louis looked at the girl’s notebook cover for the name. “We have bio together, I can’t believe you forgot who I am!”

         “Oh! Kevin! I’m so sorry, I didn’t recognize you at first!” She beamed at him. Louis couldn’t help but wonder how this girl got into college with that kind of mindset. “Walk down that way until you reach the brick building, turn left and then right. She’s on the top floor.” The girl pointed. “Bye Kevin!”

         The girl walked off and Louis was genuinely shocked that he looked that alike to someone from Eleanor’s school. Louis followed Sandra’s directions and got to the top floor. One of the doors was left open unintentionally and there were moans coming from that room. One of them Louis could recognize since he was 16. The other one was definitely not his.

         And there he was standing there, watching his girlfriend having sex with whom he assumed was Max. He cleared his throat and both of them turned around. Eleanor’s eyes widened and the guy looked like he was ready to kick Louis out of the room. But the weird thing was, this guy looked a lot like Louis.

         “Kevin?” Louis whispered.

         “Yeah, what?” The guy replied. Louis couldn’t believe what he was seeing. His girlfriend was cheating on him with Max, and now she is cheating on Max with Louis’ apparent clone. He didn’t even know who he was looking at anymore.

         “How could you do this to me? And to him?” Louis said, stepping closer towards the door.

         “Okay mate, who the fuck are you?” Kevin asked angrily.

         “Her ex.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, Kevin is not Kevin the Pigeon. I don't know why that would even be relevant. That's just disturbing.


	6. The Story

 

         Louis burst into his room and looked around to see if Niall was hiding somewhere. Usually when Louis needed someone to be there for him, he would ask for Niall. Through Secondary School it was Niall, Eleanor and Louis, the three musketeers, they would be there for him and in return he would be there for them. But only recently he had found out that he had been there for Eleanor. And Eleanor didn’t give a shit.

         But no, Niall was nowhere to be seen. He tried to call Niall but all he got was his voicemail. Louis sat on his bed and stared at the wall for a couple minutes, not being able to process what happened a couple of minutes ago. He checked his phone and found that Harry called him more than ten times since he left the bakery. He threw his phone on his bed and lied down completely so his face would be in his pillow. He wasn’t even thinking, he was just blocking everything out. His mind was white and completely blank.

         He stood up after a while and decided to dig inside his closet. There he found that old shoebox he put in the corner of the closet the day he arrived. On the top there were big letters that said “OPEN IF HOMESICK”. Louis wasn't homesick per se, but he was sick in general so he opened the box. He dug around the things he had in there, with photos and little notes and letters his family sent him.

         Then he saw a little cardboard box sitting on top of some photos. He doesn’t remember his family giving him something like that, nor does he remember putting it in there. He picked it up and on to top it read “OPEN IF LONELY”. Louis was definitely lonely so he opened the box and found two identical keys and two folded pieces of paper in it. One of them said “READ THIS FIRST” so that’s what Louis did.

        

         _Dear Louis,_

_I know you always open this box when you come back from holidays. It sucks that you have to be by yourself before everyone comes back. Wherever you are and wherever I am, just know that I am missing you, no matter what I did or what you did. The keys are copies of my dorm room key and you can come to my room if you are feeling down. I won’t be there but there might be a surprise in there somewhere. :)_

_Yours Sincerely,_

_Harry Edward Styles._

_PS:   Maybe throw this away and keep the other note in the box along with one key? Just incase you get lonely again._

         Harry must’ve written this when before he left for Christmas break and he had known Louis would be back early. That surprise he wrote about must’ve been the fairy lights in Harry’s room. He opened the other note and read that too. The handwriting was messy and all over the place, but Louis managed.

_you told me you hated to be lonely_

_but you’re not lewis_

_see i can spell when i’m drnuk_

_no wait i’m not drunk_

_nope nope_

_you told me drunk harry is funner than sober harry_

_is funner a word_

_i don’t know_

_everything is a poem when you space it       out_

_seeee  ??  ?_

_if you lonely lewis_

_i am here_

_take thy key_

_open door to life_

_poetry club does me well._

Louis laughed to himself and that was when he realized there were a few tears running down his face. He tucked the note away in its little box along with one of the keys and wiped his face. Harry might be angry at Louis now, but this note proves that Harry will be there for him no matter how much he hated Louis. Even when he is blackout drunk. He knows that he can always knock on Harry’s door, he can always count on Harry to cheer him up. Louis didn’t even know for whom he was crying for anymore, for Harry, or for Eleanor. Regardless, he decided to go to Harry’s dorm.

         Louis used the key Harry gave him to open the door, and he peeked inside. The room was not light, but not dark. The light was yellow and glowing from only one part of the room. It was still only Harry’s new bed with a couch on the other side. But this time, the duvet from Harry’s bed was on the couch.

         Harry was quietly standing by a high table cutting fruit with a small knife. His hand slipped and a piece of fruit fell on the ground, which caused Louis to laugh. That caught Harry’s attention and he turned around so quickly, the entire plate of fruit rolled onto the floor.

         “Shit, shit, shit,” Harry whispered to himself while he bent down to clean it up half-heartedly and gave Louis quick glances. Louis just stood there and waited for Harry to finish and stand up in front of him.

         “What do you want Louis?” Harry said with a hurt expression on his face.

         “I got your note,” Louis said. “And your key.” Louis held the key up to show Harry, whose facial expression didn’t change. Harry didn’t say anything, so Louis kept going.

         “I visited Eleanor today,” he said, which caught Harry’s attention. “I kind of realized something.” Louis took a deep breath and tried not to look at the floor. “I tried imagining my life without her, and I could. Then I tried imagining my life without you. I couldn’t even picture it. The thought of not being able to annoy you every waking moment of my life was terrifying.”

         “Then you don’t have to,” Harry said as he brought Louis into a crushing hug. They stayed like that in the middle of the room for what seemed like hours, days, months.

         “I’ll never doubt you again I promise,” Louis said. “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry.” He repeated over and over again. They were both crying, but Louis didn’t know why Harry was. Louis brought Harry’s hands down and felt something wet on his fingers. He looked and saw blood. Louis started to panic and looked at the arm of Harry’s that he grabbed onto.

         “Harry, did you cut yourself?” Louis asked. Harry was caught by surprise and quickly put his hands behind his back. “With the fruit cutting knife?”

         “No,” Harry said but Louis didn’t believe him. Harry was shivering and it wasn’t cold.

         “Why did you do it?” Louis asked. Harry turned his head and bit his lip. “Harry. Why did you cut yourself?”

         “Why do you think?” Harry said weakly. “You took what you wanted from me and then you left me, Louis. Just like everyone else. You left me alone.”

         “Is that why you’re sleeping on the couch?” Louis asked, gesturing at the duvet and pillow placed on the couch.

         “That bed wasn’t made for one,” Harry chuckled slightly while wiping tears off his face.

         “Who are these other people who left you alone?” Louis asked. He was sure now that once he got the names, those people would be sorry.

         “It’s a long story,” Harry said.

         “We’ve got the whole night. And tomorrow’s boring classes that I don’t want to go to.” Louis smiled and lead Harry to sit on the bed.

         “You promise not to tell anyone?” Harry asked.

         “I promise,” Louis answered.

         “Pinky promise?”

         “Pinky promise.”

 

*****

 

         It all started in primary school, when Harry’s hair turned brown and curly. All the friends he used to have stayed in his grade, while Harry skipped all the way up from third to fifth grade. Everyone was bigger than him, everyone knew more things than he did, and no one liked him.

         He got the best grades no matter what grade he was in. He was the teacher’s favorite, every faculty member’s favorite but a target for the bullies. They forced Harry to do their homework, to finish their projects and to take their tests for them. He didn’t mind it because he got the attention he wanted.

         Then on a rainy day in the seventh grade, he heard the popular kids talking.

         “I’m so glad I don’t have to do my homework anymore.”

         “And this Harry person doesn’t even ask for party invites. He’s such a geek.”

         “That’s good for us, we don’t need another loser dragging our reputation down.”

         Harry stopped listening after that.

         He went to the nurse and said that he was sick so he could go home and be by himself for a bit. He ran up to his room without saying hello to anyone in his house and slammed the door. He cried and cried that day. All his thoughts started piling up and they came out like word vomit. So he wrote them down. Then it became a poem, then a song.

         After he finished the lyrics, he sent it to a bunch of record companies because he wanted to prove that he was better than a geek who did other people’s homework. A week later, all of them replied back asking if they could use it. He chose the one seemed the most professional. A few days later, a 50 thousand pound check came in the mail.

         That’s how Harry wrote his first Grammy record.

         He had a contract with the record company to write a whole album of songs and the word got out in Holmes Chapel. Harry was famous. All the bullies, the popular kids, the mean kids, everyone wanted to be his friend. He was an eleven year old in seventh grade with everything he ever wanted right in front of him.

         For the first time in three years, Harry had friends. It didn’t matter that they often asked if they could meet the people Harry wrote songs for, or when they asked Harry to contact those people for them. Harry was accepted in his school and he was happy.

         Then eight grade washed Harry’s pride away. No one really did know who he was, everyone just knew that he was the song-writer for this celebrity and that celebrity. People were using him to get to the celebrities; none of them actually liked Harry.

         One day when the most popular kid in school asked if he could meet one of the singers Harry wrote for, he said no. He was so fed up with everyone trying to use him. He tried to defend himself; it didn’t work. Harry went home with purple skin and blood-stained clothes that day.

         He thought his life was over, with no friends, no pride and nothing at all. He could barely breathe, he never wanted to go to school, and those feelings turned from depression into lyrics. His classmates realized he only wrote for girl singers, in the point of view of a girl. So they called him gay, a faggot, and everything in between.

         But he never told his parents about the money he was making, how hurt he was in school or anything. In fact, he barely talked to his parents at all. He remembered the only time he told his parents about the bullies, they told him to get over it.

         So he locked himself in his room whenever he could, emailed the record companies in secret and soon enough, his inspiration faded away. Harry was depressed, yes, but nothing was triggering him to write a passionate song like the other ones he wrote.

         Harry decided to go to a boarding program for Sixth Form, just so he could get away from everything. A month before Sixth Form started, he met Zayn.

         When Harry saw a boy in a leather jacket and a motorcycle helmet walking towards him, he knew that his life would change. That boy was the most beautiful human being Harry had ever met, with his darker colored skin and defined cheekbones, Harry wasn’t even sure he was actually human. Zayn had been so nice to him from the start, discovering Harry’s scars and being the best listener there was. He never judged Harry for anything, and for once, Harry felt like he had real friends.

         Harry looked up to Zayn like a big brother, he followed him wherever he went, did whatever he did and wore whatever he wore.

         “Harry, are you trying to be like me?” Zayn asked out of the blue.

         “Maybe,” Harry said, going red.

         “Why? You’re perfect just the way you are,” Zayn said and put his hand on Harry’s cheek. Harry leaned into the touch.

         “Everybody likes you better than me,” Harry said. “I want to be popular.”

         “Popularity doesn’t matter. If people judge you for being who you are, then they don’t deserve you,” Zayn said.

         “You say that but you’ve never been bullied,” Harry said. “How do you know how bad it is?” That got Zayn to shut up. Zayn looked around the surroundings for a while before sighing and pulling Harry off to the side of the street.

         “What do you want me to do?” Zayn asked.

         “Give me a make over. I don’t want anyone to know who I was,” Harry said.

         “You don’t want to write songs anymore?” Zayn asked.

         “Of course I do,” Harry said. “I want to be the bad boy song-writer. Not the geeky poet.” Zayn sighed and put his face in his hands.

         “Fine. Fine. I’m doing this because you want to.” Zayn said. “Not because I want to.”

         “Where are we going first?” Harry said excitedly.

         “The tattoo parlor.”

         So Harry went into Sixth Form like a completely different person. Girls fell all over him in the hallway, guys glared at him with jealousy and teachers loved him all the same. He didn’t even realize people were still asking him for information on the clients he writes for. He didn’t realize he only had Zayn and another kid he met called Liam as friends. Maybe he didn’t want to realize. Maybe then he’ll be okay.

 

*****

 

         “Harry,” Louis said. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me about all of this. I could’ve helped you.”

         “Everyone says that. No one actually means it,” Harry said. “They feel sympathy, not empathy.”

         “Just forget about all those shitty people. I like you and I didn’t even know about any of this,” Louis said, bringing Harry into a hug.

         “I’ve always wanted to be one of those people who didn’t really care what other people said about me,” Harry sniffed and wiped away his tears. “But I’m not.”

         “I’m so sorry Harry,” Louis said. “I’m so sorry that happened to you. I’m so sorry everyone you’ve met are fuck boys. Fuck them. Just fuck them.”

         “I’m not sure I want to fuck my tormentors,” Harry laughed. But at this point, Louis couldn’t tell if Harry was laughing or crying. “Thanks Louis.”

         “It’s alright. At least now you can be you in front of me,” Louis smiled. “I would love to know the real Harry.”

         “You know when you pretend to be something you’re not, and after a while of convincing yourself that you’re only that person in front of others, you actually become that person?” Harry said. “That’s me. I don’t even remember who I was before.”

         “Then try to remember, I’m sure the old Harry was a great person,” Louis said.

         “I already see parts of my old self when I’m with you,” Harry said. “It’s a good thing, I suppose. I’m afraid everything else is lost forever.”

         “I’m sure you’ll find it one day,” Louis said. “You went to visit your parents for Christmas at least,” Harry smiled slightly at the bed and looked at Louis.

         “I wasn’t visiting my parents,” Harry said. “Going straight to Heathrow would be too obvious so I took a train somewhere else to go on a flight.”

         “Wait, where did you go then?” Louis asked.

         “I had a record deal in Los Angeles. It’s nothing important,” Harry said.

         “Woah, a record deal?” Louis exclaimed. “You turned down a record deal in L.A. for me?”

         “I didn’t turn it down! I told them I was terribly sick and Skyped them,” Harry said.

         “No you didn’t, I was with you the entire holiday,” Louis said. “You barely left my side.”

         “I may have pulled a couple of all nighters,” Harry said. Louis shook his head.

         “I’m sorry Harry,” Louis said.

         “For what?” Harry asked.

         “For being such a dick,” Louis mumbled.

         “I forgive you,” Harry said happily.

         “That easily?” Louis puffed out a small laugh.

         “You took quite a hit today, I think that’s enough,” Harry said and patted Louis on the back. “How’d you find out?”

         “Bit creepy that you know where I went today and bit creepy that you know I found out,” Louis laughed but he could feel the tears welling in his eyes.

         “Eleanor wasn’t even with that Max guy,” Louis said. “She was with Kevin.”

         “I don’t know who that is but he sounds like a dick,” Harry said. “So she cheated on you with Max, then she cheated on Max with this Kevin guy? Wow.”

         “I think it’s more complicated than that. She hadn’t visited me for over three months. I’m pretty sure she’s fucked more guys than that during that time.

         “I’m sorry, that sucks,” Harry said. “So you’re single then?”

         “I guess. You should hear what I said to her right before I left,” Louis said. “Kevin asked me who I was so I said ‘her ex’ and slammed the door. And I didn’t even cry.” Louis shifted a bit and looked away while biting his lip. “I didn’t even cry.”

         “You haven’t cried about it?” Harry said.

         “She meant so much to me. And now I can’t even cry about it,” Louis said.

         “Then cry now. Cry as much as you want,” Harry said. “You held me while I sobbed out my story, and now I’m here to listen to yours."

         “I don’t even know what to say. I think I was in love. I’m not sure.” Louis put his head in his hands. “God, did I fall in love with the thought of her and not her presence?”

         “Maybe,” Harry said. “If it were me, I think that I would’ve been busy falling in love with someone else.” Harry put his hand on Louis’ back and sat closer to him. “Maybe the girl I had been with was just there to stop me from falling too deep.”

         “Who would you, or I, even be falling in love with?” Louis whispered with a laugh.

         “I have a couple of ideas.”

        

*****

 

         Louis fell asleep in Harry’s arms, their limbs tangled and hair everywhere. He wanted to lie there forever, knowing that the arms holding him will always be there, through thick and thin. Louis has never had a “morning-after” conversation, but he was sure it wouldn’t be very pretty. (it’s not like he had sex with Harry or anything, the surroundings and smell around him just makes it _seem_ like it.)

         So with that in mind, Louis wiggled out of Harry’s long arms and fell on the floor with a thump. Harry turned in his position on the bed, causing Louis to freeze. He grabbed his shoes and his jacket and shut the door quietly behind him.

         He tip-toed to his room and tried to open the door. He usually left the door open because there’s really nothing important in his room anyways. Louis didn’t know how the door locked but he knew that Niall had an extra key for his room.

         So he walked over to Niall’s door and knocked. No one answered but he heard noises coming from inside and he tried the door. It opened so he started to talk.

         “Hey Niall, I forgot my-“ Louis stopped talking when he saw what was in front of him.

         Two people were kissing on Niall’s bed. One of them had blonde hair that was fading into brown in the roots. The other person was grinding onto him with their hand pressed against Niall’s cheek.

         Louis couldn’t see much of what was happening, but he knew that he saw one thing. There were four chevrons tattooed on the other person’s forearm.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of really really obvious who it is. I wonder who has that tattoo? Hmm...


	7. The End (Of the beginning)

 

         The last time Louis walked in on two people, he broke up with one of them. He definitely didn’t want that to happen now.

         “Louis!” Niall said as he pushed Liam off of him and buttoned up his shirt while walking to a frozen Louis. “I can explain, this isn’t what it-“  Niall said.

         “It’s alright,” Louis said. “I’ve taken enough hits already, I don’t want this to end badly.” Louis sighed and rubbed his eyes roughly. “I just have one question.”

         “Anything, anything.” Niall panted and ran his hands through his hair. Liam was still standing still in the background, and Louis was almost certain he hadn’t blinked since Louis started talking.

         “Does he make you happy?” Louis asked. Niall’s eyes lit up and a wide grin spread across his face.

         “Yes. So very, very happy.” Niall looked back at Liam, who has gained a little color in his face and was smiling a little.

         “Alright. Good,” Louis said. “Liam, a word?” He tiled his head to the other side of Niall’s room for Liam to follow.

         “If you hurt my boy, I’m going to beat the shit out of you,” Louis said.

         “Of course, Tommo. I will assure you that won’t happen.” Liam smiles.

         “I’ll just take my key and go,” Louis said. “Don’t stop because of me.” He looked around the part of Niall’s closet he claimed as his own and found clothing that didn’t belong to him or to Niall. He had vague memories of Liam wearing them.

         Louis fished his key out and opened the door. He held his thumbs up to his beaming friends. He tried to stop smiling from the way Niall put his hand on Liam’s waist and pulled him in as Louis closed the door behind him.

 

*****

 

         Louis had just snuck a chocolate coin from the cashier stand into his mouth when Liam walked into the bakery.

         “Payno! To what do I owe this pleasure?” Louis said as he threw a stray tennis ball at the boy walking towards him.

         “Advice. I need advice.” Liam whispered and leaned onto the counter.

         “What kind?” Louis asked.

         “Dating advice, you know, with Niall.” Liam leaned in even more and ‘Niall’ was barely audible.

         “You want me to give you dating advice,” Louis laughs. “Let’s think, shall we?” Louis paused to think. “Be friends with his friends. Oh wait, I did that, and right, Eleanor fucked her friend. Next, surprise him with visits! Been there, done that. Remember that friend she fucked? Yeah.” Liam’s eyes widened and his mouth fell open.

         “Louis, I didn’t know, I’m so sorry,” Liam said. “I just thought that you know Niall better than anyone here and you could tell me what he likes?”

         “How did you end up liking someone like Niall?” Louis said. “You fell for the bad boy who lives in the moment. Why?”

         “I don’t know, I just did.” Liam said.

         “You know that Niall’s a huge player, right? He’s broken more hearts than a boy band breaking up,” Louis said. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but just because he treats you like you’re special, doesn’t mean he believes you are.”

         “Since when does Louis Tomlinson know so much?” Liam said.

         “I took an Intro to Psychology class,” Louis said proudly.

         “Yeah, he went to a _Psych For Fun_ Club so he wouldn’t have to go to detention. You didn’t take the class, Lou,” Harry said out of nowhere and handed a customer their drink and walked over to the cashier counter.

         “It was for character study!” Louis said. “How did you know?”

         “I was there too. You slept the entire time,” Harry said. “I on the other hand, disagree with Louis’ opinion completely. You guys make a really great couple. Opposites do attract.”

         “You’re stereotyping,” Louis said.

         “Is that so bad?” Harry said.

         “People stereotyped you, and you tried to kill yourself,” Louis said, but the second it came out of his mouth, he regretted it.

         “Wait, wha-” Liam was interrupted by Harry.

         “It’s nothing,” Harry said and walked into the kitchen.

         “Is this something we should talk about?” Liam asked Louis.

         “I don’t think so, it’s over now,” Louis said as he walked out from the back of the counter to the seating area.

         “Alright.” Liam said as he sat down on the couch Louis and Harry sat on all those months ago. “Want to know something?”

         “Why not?” Louis said as he settled down in his chair.

         “Have you ever wondered why a classic bad boy like Niall doesn’t have any tattoos?” Liam asked.

         “I actually don’t know. I guess he just never liked it.” Louis said.

         “You know how Niall loves to live in the moment?” Liam said. “Tattoos signify permanence. What someone feels at that exact moment has to be what they will feel for the rest of their life. Niall’s afraid of settling down because he’s afraid he can’t get back up.”

         “I’ve made a lot of stupid decisions with my tattoos,” Louis sighed.

         “Were any of them done for Eleanor?” Liam asked.

         “No,” Louis said.

         “Then I guess your brain caught up with what was going on, and your heart fell behind.” Liam said. Louis didn’t say anything for a while.

         “Why do you get tattoos then?” Louis asked.

         “It serves as a reminder. So whenever something happens, and whatever happens, I can always look at them and know that I was okay once, and I will be okay again.” Liam answered. Louis thought long and hard about what Liam told him. He walked back to the counter and found his tattoo voucher sitting in his wallet, unused and new.

         Without filtering the thought through his mind first, Louis ran into the kitchen to where Harry was sitting.

         “I haven’t used my tattoo voucher yet,” Louis announced.

         “Okay?” Harry said and turned his head to face Louis.

         “Tattoos are reminders of a better time,” Louis said. “For me, that time was with you.”

         “What are you trying to say?” Harry said.

         “Hear me out. I know that I’ve been a straight up dick and I probably hurt your feelings too many times since we met,” Louis said. “But you promised me that you’ll always be there for me. A piece of paper with bleeding ink isn’t going to last forever.”

         “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” Harry said.

         “I want to get matching tattoos with you.”

 

*****

 

         Louis was taken to Harry’s favorite tattoo parlor in London. They were greeted by Harry’s friend Tom.

         “Matching tattoos, eh?” He said. “That’s a bold step. Any ideas as to what you want?”

         “Just, something that symbolizes our friendship,” Louis said. From the corner of his eye, Louis saw Tom look to Harry with a wide-eyed expression, then looking away quickly.

         “How about a padlock and key?” Harry suggested. “For the letter.”

         “That sounds pretty good, actually,” Louis smiled and sat down on the chair. “Although, I would say that it might be a little small. I want to make a statement.”

         “I have this place on speed-dial. You’re covered,” Harry beamed.

         “Harry, could you bring me the booklet on the table over there?” Tom said as he started looking over Louis’ other tattoos. Harry walked over and nearly tripped over his own feet, then walking back and actually tripping. The booklet fell out of his hands along with his backpack. Harry dropped to his knees quickly and started picking things up.

         “Oops!” Harry said. “I’ll clean it up.” Tom sighed and went back to Louis. He thought about Harry, about how wonderful the last couple months have been with Harry. He thought about how the met in the library the day he found Zayn, and how Harry also fell over and spilled all his things on the floor. He thought about what Harry said when their eyes met. “ _Oops!”_ Harry had said. “ _Hi.”_ He had said back.

         “Actually, could I get something else?” Louis said.

         “Alright?” Tom said. “What do you want?”

         “Harry, could you write oops for me?” Louis said. Harry looked confused but he grabbed the pen nearest to him and wrote it on an old napkin.

         “What are you going to get tattooed?” Harry asked as he handed Louis the napkin. Louis handed the napkin to Tom with a grin on his face.

         “This.”

 

*****

 

         Louis had never felt happier in his life. Well, that wasn’t exactly true. He was sure that there were many moments where he felt better than this, but somehow he couldn’t remember. He had gotten ‘Oops!’ tattooed on his right forearm the day before and he was smiling all day. Harry’s body was littered with tattoos and the only place he could get it was on his left bicep. So to make sure every single person who walked by them could see it, Louis made him wear a muscle tank and pretended to arrange his hair the whole day so Harry could lift his arm and show off the tattoo.

         He didn’t know why he was so happy, it was just tattoos and no one even knew about the ‘Oops’ ‘hi’ thing outside of the two of them. And nobody even recognizes handwriting anymore, so nobody really cared.

         But then there were times were it all came rushing back to him. The eagerness Harry had to tell him. The confused look on Barbara’s face. The smirk on Eleanor’s face that definitely shouldn’t have been there. The lump in his throat and the hole in his heart matched with the cold expressionless look he held on his face since then.

         Louis wanted to put the whole Eleanor thing behind him and just move on. But even thought he got a some-what meaningful tattoo with one of his best friends and most people couldn’t even tell that he had just been through a break up, he caught himself trying to check up on Eleanor’s social media pages whenever he could.

         She was just so, so, beautiful. It didn’t matter what she had done to Louis, because any guy would forgive her in a blink of an eye. But unlike all those other guys she probably cheated on Louis with, they could see her every day and Louis would probably walk in at the worst time possible.

         He floated through the next week with no purpose, because really, was there a purpose? Before he broke up with Eleanor all he could think about was if she was going to call, if she was going to drop by, if she was going to come see him. All the times he got a new tattoo or did something a bit mischievous, he was scared that Eleanor would see him and disapprove.

         And now, even thought he was technically “free”, it was weird not to pull back from his actions, afraid of what Eleanor might say.

         “Hey hon, you look a little down,” Barbara said as she leaned onto the counter, earning a couple tilted stares from behind her.

         “It’s nothing,” Louis lied.

         “I stopped talking to her, you know.” Barbara whispered. “After Harry told me what happened and I got so pissed that I nearly punched her in the face.” Louis smiled a little but didn’t raise his head. He wasn’t going to tear up now when he didn’t when it first happened.          

         “Eleanor was just.” He took a deep breath. “Such a toxic person.”

         “I know, I know,” Barbara said. “Since I stopped talking to her, it kind of made me a better person too. It’s so strange when you don’t know the impact that someone made on you until they’re gone.”

         “In a way, yeah,” Louis said.

         “And then you try and try to change yourself back,” Barbara said. “You’ll be surprised who you end up finding behind the mask you wore.”

         “I think… I was in it deeper than that,” Louis sighed. “And I knew it. I bloody knew that deep down, maybe it wasn’t right. But I just… I don’t know.”

         “You super-glued your face to the mask,” Barbara suggested.

         “Maybe that, or maybe the mask got tangled in my hair,” Louis said. “When it first got caught I told myself, ‘It’s no big deal, you can take it off later.’ Then, you know when you tell your friend it’s you that’s behind the mask? That friend doesn’t know who’s behind it,” Louis sniffed. “I think I was up to the point where the friend doesn’t care anymore, and any newcomers see me as the mask.”

         Louis shook his head and looked up at the ceiling to try and bat away his tears. “And boy, do I want to get the mask off. But it’s mixed in with who I was before and it doesn’t matter how much I want it off. I can’t. I can’t.”

         “She impacted you to be who you are today, and you don’t like it,” Barbara said.

         “No, no. She didn’t impact me. She _forced_ me,” Louis said. He was quiet for a while before he spoke again.

         “But I’m okay. I’m okay now,” Louis smiled weakly.

         “Go home,” Barbara said.

         “What?” Louis replied and tilted his head.

         “I said, go home. You’re off for today.” Barbara smiled at him and helped to take his apron off.

         “You’re serious?” Louis said as he fixed his fringe and walked to the front of the shop.

         “Yep, I’ll handle it,” Barbara said. “You deserve some alone time.”

         “Thanks!” Louis said as he pushed open the door and headed out into the cold January air.

 

*****

 

         He skipped to his dorm room with a smile on his face and stopped just before he went it. Niall’s door was open and he was sitting inside, staring at the ceiling.

         “Niall, mate. What are you doing?” Louis said. Niall jumped up in surprise and greeted his friend.

         “Oh, hey. Um, I dunno. Just bored, I guess,” Niall said. “I thought you had work?”

         “I got let off early,” Louis said. Before either of them could say a single word, the door was opened by Zayn.

         “Hello boys, mind if I join? I’ll just be a second,” Zayn said. Louis felt like he hadn’t sung in the shower for ages but he still felt giddy whenever he was around Zayn. That boy understood him in a way that had only been achieved by Harry. “So, I heard you’ve been screwing my boy Liam,” Zayn said to Niall, who started blushing like crazy.

         “I… Um…” Niall stuttered. “You’re not mad?”

         “Why would I be? I’m happy for you, Nialler,” Zayn said.

         “And so am I,” Louis said, “Even though the way I found out wasn’t very pleasant.”

         “How did you find out?” Zayn asked.

         “Walked in on them,” Louis said, which made Niall blush even harder.

         “Ha,” Zayn grinned. “I found out when I saw Liam wanking to a photo of Niall, so I think you win on that one.” Zayn stood up from the chair he was sitting on. “Speaking of wanking, I’m gonna go. Please don’t go in the showers for another fifteen mintues.”

         Louis frowned at the last sentence and looked up at Zayn. “Wait why not?” he asked.

         “I thought you knew when we first met?” Zayn said. “Now that Niall is out and proud I might as well say it.” Zayn smiled. “I wank in the showers and sometimes I peek over stalls for inspirations for art class. There. I said it.”

         “I thought you sang in the showers?”  Louis asked.

         “No?” Zayn said. “But once I heard two weirdos singing some old hippy songs. It was kind of creepy.” He closed the door behind him, leaving Louis with his mouth wide open.

         “So Zayn isn’t the mystery singer, then,” Niall said.

         “If it isn’t him, then who could it be?” Louis said.

         “I don’t know mate, your life is all sorts of fucked up,” Niall said. “Speaking of that, how are you doing? With the whole Eleanor thing.”

         “I’m fine, I guess,” Louis said. “My expectations were too high anyways. I spent my time thinking about what we could do together, and not what we have done together.” Niall nodded and put a hand on top of Louis’.

         “I just wanted a relationship, you know? Little gifts to each other for no reason, inside jokes, cooking together, cuddling in the one person bed that’s way too small, but we manage anyways,” Louis said. “Is that too much to ask for?”

         “Nope, everyone deserves to have that,” Niall said. “But I don’t think you’re describing relationships in general anymore.”

         “What do you mean?” Louis asked.

         “I think,” Niall said. “That you’re describing a person instead of a relationship.”

         “And who could thatbe?” Louis asked.

         “Harry.”

 

*****

 

         After his pep talk with Niall, Louis changed his clothes and walked down the hall to Harry’s room. He wasn’t sure why he was doing it but after what Niall said, maybe Louis had realized something.

         Maybe in the last few months since he got to know Harry, he didn’t need to depend on Eleanor. Maybe if he hadn’t sung with the stranger or met Harry, he would’ve dropped by Eleanor’s every weekend because he missed her. And no matter how much he didn’t want to admit it, he didn’t need Eleanor just as much as she didn’t need him.

         Maybe he fell for the thought of Eleanor because he was falling for Harry, who spent the time with him to create the thoughts to fall for. Louis stopped walking and shook his head. No, he wasn’t falling in love with Harry. That would be ridiculous. But then again, what if Harry felt the same?

         He was so caught up in thinking of Eleanor that he was oblivious to almost everything around him. He didn’t realize Zayn had a completely different taste in music to him. He didn’t realize his best friend since _secondary school_ wasn’t around as much and he didn’t even know that his _best_ friend was gay. What if he missed signs that Harry might like him back?

         Before he knew it, he was standing in front of Harry’s door, more nervous than he had ever been without knowing why. He pulled down the sleeve of his (it was actually Harry’s) sweater and knocked on the door. Louis heard footsteps from inside the room, then a thump and a crash, followed by a nearly inaudible “ _fuck!”_

A few seconds later, Harry stood in front of him with a leg up and a hand massaging his shin. “Louis! Come on in,” Harry said and clearly smiling through the pain.

         “Did you just fall?” Louis laughed.

         “No! What makes you think I did?” Harry said while shaking his leg a little before putting it down but not putting any weight on it.

         “Don’t lie to me Harold, you’re limping,” Louis said and sat down on the bed they slept together on during Christmas. Harry shrugged and walked to the “food table” he set up in his room. Harry pulled out the kettle and two mugs.

         “So to what do I owe the pleasure, Louis?” Harry asked as he made the tea.

         “Just a uni lad who wants to see his friend,” Louis said. He noticed that Harry flinched at the word “friend” but he didn’t say anything. Harry nodded and made the tea in silence. Then he turned around and handed Louis his favorite mug.

         “You liking the sweater?” Harry asked when they both sat down on the bed.

         “Yeah, I have a couple more back in my room but if you want them back I can-” Louis was interrupted by Harry.

         “You can keep them. You look better in my clothes than I do anyways,” Harry said and sipped his tea. Louis couldn’t hide the stupid smile forming on his face from the compliment no matter how much he hid his face with the mug. Harry turned to look at Louis.

         “What?” Harry said. “Why are you smiling like that?”

         “No reason,” Louis mumbled into his mug. “Could you play some songs?” He asked Harry, who was fiddling with the rip in his skinny jeans. Harry nodded and connected his phone to the small speaker in the corner of the room. It played a Birdy song that Zayn- no, someone else sung with him in the showers once.

         That made Louis wonder, who could it possibly be? He was so sure it was Zayn because he fit every single criterion and all the hints. It was his own fault that he didn’t push to ask about it. Louis swung his legs around as he drank his tea. (Harry’s bed was very high and his feet didn’t quite reach the floor)

         His feet touched something from under the bed, so he bent over to pick it up. It was a sketchbook, the front was worn and scratched, the spine cracked and pages uneven.

         “What’s this?” Louis asked.

         “That’s my scrapbook. I kept it when Zayn, Liam and I went traveling last year,” Harry said. “You can look inside if you want.” Louis opened the cover carefully, scared that it would break from the touch.

         As the music played, Louis flipped through the book of memories that belonged to Harry. It almost felt invasive for Louis to look through the scrapbook. The Harry that Harry made himself into wasn’t in the scrapbook at all. The Harry in the scrapbook had bright smiles that could light up an entire room. The Harry in the scrapbook held up peace signs and stuck out his tongue. He hugged Zayn and refused to let go, closing his eyes and holding his friend tight while Zayn struggled to get away. Louis smiled at the time Harry spent to put the book together. There were little sketches all around the pictures and tiny stickers decorating the boarders.

         “I forgot some of my stuff in Zayn’s room. I’ll be back,” Harry said. He turned up the volume of the music and left the room, leaving Louis in a space filled with Harry-ness. He looked through the rest of the scrapbook while waiting for Harry to return. There was one particular photo that caught his eye. It was a photo of Harry, Zayn and Liam. You could see that they were showing off a tattoo. A screw each on their ankles. That was when a familiar tune started playing from the speakers.

 

         “ _Wouldn’t it be nice if we were older?_

_Then we wouldn’t have to wait so long”_

         Louis sung along to his favorite song, remembering the first time the stranger sung the song with him in the showers.

_“And wouldn’t it be nice to live together?_

_In the kind of world where we belong”_

 

         Then it was like déjà vu, the voice he’d listened to and dreamed of was singing with him, somewhere in the distance.

 

         “ _You know it’s gonna make it that much better_

_When we can say goodnight and stay together”_

Louis stood up abruptly, nearly dropping the scrapbook. He followed the sound outside of Harry’s room.

 

         “ _Wouldn’t it be nice if we could wake up_

_In the morning when the day is new”_

         Louis looked out into the hallway, when he saw a figure walking towards him. The light was dim and he couldn’t see who it was.

_“And after having spent the day together_

_Hold each other close the whole night through”_

 

         The figure was singing the song, and Louis knew that it was him. This was the mystery singer in the shower.

 

         “ _Happy times together we’ve been spending_

_I wish that every kiss was never-ending”_

The guy’s voice was choking up, quieting into a whisper. He had curly locks of hair down to his shoulders, and green eyes that were too familiar.

_“Maybe if we think and wish and hope and pray it might come true_

_Baby then there wouldn’t be a single thing we couldn’t do”_

Louis was speechless. He recognized the man standing in front of him. And he knew him. And boy, did he know him well.

_“We could be married_

_And then we’d be happy”_

“Harry?” Louis managed to say. The taller boy nodded and they both sniffed, taking steps towards each other until they were inches away.

And then their lips crashed together, tears streaming down their faces, and Louis knew that Harry was all he needed.

 

         “ _Wouldn’t it be nice?”_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is sort of where it's supposed to end but I decided to do one more chapter.


	8. The Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is filled with flashbacks in Harry's point of view, just to explain some of the things.

_“You’re weird, Harold,” Louis said._

_“You’re drunk.”_

_“You’re pretty.”_

_“You’re drunk, Lou.”_

_“I speak the truth when I’m drunk, you know.”_

_“Then I wish you were sober.”_

 

**The night of the party, on the couch.**

 

Harry watched as Louis laid back onto the couch, his grin wide and his mind obviously not clear. He laid back too and they both stared out at the now empty halls. Harry wondered about taking Louis downstairs so he doesn’t miss the fun, but a part of him decided against it. He was talking to Louis,  _finally,_ and he wasn’t going to let the party get in the way.

At this point, Louis was too drunk to form any actual thoughts or sentences, but Harry was way to sober to say what he wanted to say. In the library, he was going to blurt out that he sung with Louis in the shower, but that was when Louis walked away to find Zayn, for some sort of reason. 

To be honest, every single time Harry saw Louis in the hallways of uni, he wanted to tell him. He remembered the first night in the showers, when he wanted to have some alone time since it was eight o’clock and no one showers at that time. He heard a voice humming and entering the cubicles. He heard that voice failing to turn the nobs correctly, probably resulting in boiling hot water and freezing cold water. 

He had put his hand over his mouth when he giggled to the stranger struggling. And when the stranger replied “ _not funny!”_ , he knew he was in love. If it was possible to be in love so fast. At that point Harry knew that he had to help. So he tiptoed up to the shower next to the stranger and turned the nobs until the temperature was near perfect. He ran back to his shower as quick as possible because he didn’t want their first meeting to be him naked and with a growing hard-on. 

When the stranger started singing one of his favorite songs, he had no choice but to sing along. He didn’t know whether the stranger knew him and did this to get to know him, or it was a complete coincidence that was sent from heaven. Of _course_ he had to sing along, and he had to admit, their voices sounded great together. 

As the song was ending, Harry didn’t want this to end. So he kept singing but he walked towards the sinks and wrote a message on the foggy mirror. This ought to bring him back. Even if it was a little bit creepy.

The next day, Harry searched through the sea of faces for one that could possibly match the beautiful voice he heard yesterday. None of them matched what he believed could be him. But then, as he was walking with a friend down the hall, he heard someone humming  _the song_. Harry turned once the boy passed and watched as he went down the hall. Harry ditched his friend and slowly caught up to the boy, but keeping a safe distance so he didn’t seem like a stalker. The boy was easily a head shorter than him, with a caramel fringe and great curves. He was exactly what Harry pictured, but even better. 

The boy stopped at one point to talk to Niall, the Irish lad who everyone in uni knew. “Hey Louis!” Niall had said.  _Louis._ Harry said to himself. That was the stranger’s name. It fitted him perfectly. Harry was about to tap Louis on the back when he walked away with Niall, leaving Harry in the middle of the hallway with a finger up in the air.

So obviously when Louis came to the showers to sing that night, Harry wrote another message. And when he heard Louis gasp at his name written on the mirror, he knew that it was him. And if Harry tripped and hid behind a door to watch Louis walk back to his room, no one found out at the time, and no one ever needed to find out.

In the next week, Harry watched as Louis walked down every hallway, talk to every person and fell more in love with his voice every single day. When Louis called him Ed one night, he couldn’t help but laugh. Why would Ed of all people sound like him? Their voices were completely different and they looked even more different. Ed was a  _ginger,_ for crying out loud. Why would Louis think it was Ed?

Harry froze when he saw a caramel fringe peek under the curtain and at him. He didn’t know what Louis was looking for, but he didn’t want Louis to find out. Not at that time. What if Louis didn’t like what Harry looked like? What if Louis hated him? So when three random guys walked into the showers Harry took a deep breath and thanked who ever sent them at such a convenient time. 

Harry had so much fun singing with Louis in the next couple months. They sung all of Harry’s favorite songs and somehow he knew that they were Louis’ favorite songs too. Sometimes, they would exchange messages to each other by writing on the mirror, but most of the time they communicated through song. 

And it didn’t surprise Harry when he was at a lost of words when he actually did meet Louis, bumping into him and dropping both of their books in the middle of the library. For a second Harry thought that Louis knew, because he looked at Harry with the expression that Harry sported every time he saw Louis.

But then Louis got distracted by something and walked away right before Harry could tell him that he was the one who sung with him. 

Coming back to reality, Harry grabbed the drink nearest to him and chugged it down. He was going to do it. He was going to tell Louis. Harry grabbed the tipsy boy’s hands and turned to face him. Louis looked at him with a sheepish grin and Harry started.

“You know the person who sung in the shower with you for the last couple of months?” Harry said. Louis tilted his head as if he was confused but he nodded.

“Yeah, but I’m not going to tell you who it is!” Louis said.

“You know who it is?” Harry asked.

“Yes! It’s-” Louis paused for a second in thought. “I forgot who it was.”

“Well I want to tell you that it’s me.” Harry said. “Wouldn’t It Be Nice, turning on your shower, that was all me.” Louis didn’t say anything for a while.

“Oh.” Louis said. “Really?” Harry nodded quickly. His heart was thumping in his ears and his hands were shaking. he didn’t know what Louis would say about it.

“You have a really nice voice, Harry.” Louis said. “Like, really, really nice. I love your voice. I love you.” Louis pointed at Harry slowly and his head fell onto Harry’s shoulder. Harry knew that Louis was kidding and that he was drunk out of his mind, but he still felt giddy from what Louis said. 

Louis waved his hand around the air and stopped to point at something in the distance. “Woah, is that a bottle of spray paint? I love that stuff.” Louis said. Then he pointed at the ceiling. “Did someone draw on the ceiling?” Harry looked up.

“Yeah, that’s Zayn’s work. The motorcycle is his signature.” Harry said as Louis laid his head on Harry’s lap, which caused Harry’s skinny jeans to tighten. 

“It’s sick. I love that guy.” Louis said and Harry frowned. So Louis was definitely joking then. Louis continued to point at various things around the hallway, apparently “loving”  everything in the entire hallway. 

After what seemed like forever, Louis started to fall asleep in Harry’s lap. His face was soft and his eyelashes were casting shadows onto his cheeks. He looked so beautiful and Harry was going to lean down and kiss him, but was stopped by the loud music from the courtyard that travelled back into the building. 

Louis woke up and Harry laid back on the couch as quick as he could and tried to make it less obvious that he nearly tried to kiss Louis. They met  _yesterday._ He couldn’t just kiss someone he met the day before. But then again, he had known and admired Louis for quite some time now.

All the noise poured into the room and Harry thought for sure that Louis would get pissed off, but instead, the smaller boy jumped up from the couch like he had all the energy in the world and grabbed Harry’s hand.

“The party is back! C’mon Harry, let’s go dance and get drunker!” Louis said as he attempted to pull Harry up from the couch. It wasn’t long until Harry was blindly pulled around the once empty hallways and unknowingly downing three different drinks that burned inside of him. He was about to pour his fourth drink when Zayn’s hand landed on his wrist.

“Don’t drink too much Harry.” Zayn said.

“It’s a party Zayn, let him drink!” Louis yelled over the music.

“Harry’s a sloppy drunk.” Zayn said. “He dances around and  _on_ everything, then he eventually decide to write something. Last time the title of the piece he wrote was ‘free the nipples.’ So I don’t suggest that he should drink that much.”

“The nipples deserve to be freed. He isn’t wrong.” Louis said. “But since I don’t have a baby-sitter, I’m going to drink as much as I want!” Louis glanced at both of them took the drinks that they were holding and drank both of them in one go. 

Louis threw himself onto Harry and hooked his legs around Harry’s waist. Louis leaned in until his lips were touching Harry’s ear. Harry’s body was shaking and he could barely hold Louis up. 

“Hey mystery singer, want to know something?” Louis whispered into Harry’s ear. “I like you a lot. Like a lot a lot.” 

“You’re attracting a lot of attention Louis, you have a girlfriend.” Harry’s voice quivered as he whispered into Louis’ ear.

“That’s the point, Harry.” Louis said. “I do it so I won’t be lonely. Isn’t that why we have significant others? So we won’t be lonely?”

 “You have a girlfriend because you don’t want to be lonely?” Harry said.

“In a way, yes.” Louis hung on to Harry even tighter, if that was possible. “Eleanor was the popular girl that everyone had a crush on. It was my luck she liked be back. I asked her out and I was almost certain she would say no, but when she said yes I was so surprised.” Louis paused before he spoke again. “Then after that I was always the one saying yes to all of the things she asked me to do.” 

“She doesn’t sound like a very good girlfriend to me.” Harry mumbled to himself.

“She isn’t, yeah.” Louis said. “But that’s okay, it’s better than being alone.”

“But you deserve someone better, Lou.” Harry said. ‘You deserve someone that will care for you the same way you care for them.” Louis didn’t say anything as he got off of Harry and stood in front of him.

“Fuck,” Louis said. “You’re right.” Harry tilted his head in confusion. “She doesn’t give a shit about me. So why should I give a shit about her?” Louis said. It sounded like a question but Harry didn’t think it was the right time to answer.

“What are you going to do?” Harry asked while slowly moving away from Louis. Louis’ eyes got dark and the blue in his eyes were gone. Harry had no clue what was going on. 

“I’m breaking up with her.” Louis said. “I’m fucking breaking up with her.” 

“Now? It’s in the middle of the night I don’t-” Harry was interrupted by Louis, who dragged him to an empty room.

“Who the fuck cares? If she doesn’t pick up it’s her fault!” Louis said. He took his phone out of his pocket and clicked on something on the screen that Harry presumed was Eleanor’s number. The phone rung a couple times before someone finally picked up.

“El!” Louis screamed into the phone. “Mum? I thought I called El?” Harry was worried. Calling your mother in the middle of the night while you are drunk wasn’t exactly the best way to show that you are studying well. 

“Anyways, that doesn’t matter,” Louis said. “Guess what mum, I’m going to break up with Eleanor!” Louis’ face lit up when he said that, but then he frowned at the phone. “What do you mean, why? I can do what I want!” Louis dragged out the syllables, making his voice sound more drunk than he actually was, which was very drunk. 

“I  _am_ sober, mum! What? You’re drunk! I’m sorry. I love you. Bye.” Louis said, and Harry could faintly hear his mum’s voice on the other side, and the fact that he could hear that over the music just proves that she was probably screaming at him. 

“Are you going to call Eleanor now?” Harry asked calmly. Louis laid onto the strange bed behind them.

“I’m too tired to deal with that, I’ll do it tomorrow,” Louis yawned. “Cuddle with me?” He reached out his arms at Harry who obviously laid down on the bed with him. Louis snuggled into Harry’s neck as Harry tried to slow down his heart beat, which could probably burst out of his chest at any minute now. 

“This is nice. Why can’t all relationships be like this.” Louis mumbled into Harry’s shirt.

“If all relationships were like this then you wouldn’t like it as much.” Harry said. 

“Well, I can’t argue with that,” Louis said. “You wouldn’t like it as much either.”

“I still would. As long as it’s you.” Harry whispered as Louis drifted off to sleep in his arms.

 

*****

 

Harry woke up the next morning (or was it the afternoon?) to the sound of someone cursing.

“What the  _fuck?_ ” Louis’ voice echoed around the strange room. Harry turned around to see that Louis was standing next to the bed with a horrified expression on his face.

“Hey Lou, you’re awake.” Harry mumbled. 

“Harry, what the fuck,” Louis whispered. “What the fuck are you doing in my bed?”

“This isn’t your bed Lou, we’re in Baker’s Hall.” Harry said.

“Yeah, but why were you in the bed with me?” Louis said. “I got to call Eleanor.” He walked around the room to search for his phone but he was stopped by Harry.

“How are you going to tell her?” Harry asked. “I think you should write it down first.”

“Why would I do that?” Louis asked, squinting his eyes towards Harry like he was crazy. “I’m just going to say hi.”

“You’re not going to break up with her?” Harry said. Now it was getting more confusing. 

“Why the  _fuck_ would I break up with my girlfriend?” Louis said and waved his hand in front of Harry’s face when he didn’t answer.

“Uh, I don’t know.” Harry said dumbly and tried to think of something to talk about. He fished his phone out from the bed and opened it. “I made a playlist for you, you know,” Harry turned his phone over for Louis to see. “I chronologically ordered all the songs we sung together in the shower in the past couple months.”

“Wait what?” Louis stepped away from Harry. “You sang in the shower with me?” 

“Yeah, I told you yesterday.” Harry stepped closer to Louis, who stepped even further away. Before Harry could say anything else, the door swung open.

“Finally,” Zayn said. “Do you know how many naked people I walked in on to find you guys?” He walked into the room and almost immediately sensed the tension. 

“Hi Zayn. Louis’ voice quivered.

“What’s going on here?” Zayn said as he carefully stepped closer to the two of them.

“I don’t think Louis remembers what happened last night.” Harry said to Zayn, maybe a tad too loud.

“What happened last night?” Louis demanded.

“What was the last thing you remember?” Harry asked.

“We were sitting on a couch,” Louis said slowly, trying to remember. “I told you that you were pretty, or something.” 

“Fuck.” Harry mumbled. That was right before everything happened.

“Well, you’re a free man now, let’s go get some drinks.” Zayn tried to light up the mood and tried to grab Louis’ arm.

“Why am I a free man?” Louis put his arm behind his back. “What are you all talking about?”

“You broke up with that girlfriend of yours, didn’t you?” Zayn said with a cheerful tone that clearly didn’t fit the circumstances. 

“No I didn’t! I didn’t!” Louis screamed. Harry turned around and pulled Zayn out of the room.

“What do we do?” Harry said. “I don’t think it’s good for him to find out like this.” 

“Yeah, he’s clearly freaked out and doesn’t remember a single thing.” Zayn mumbled.

“Wait, that’s it!” Harry said. “If he tends to black out when he gets drunk then we need to make him drink loads. Then maybe he’ll forget about today completely.”

“Alright. Let’s go then,” Zayn walked back into the room. “Hey Lou, we were joking with you just then, c’mon, let’s go get some drinks anyways.” He pulled Louis out of the room and Harry followed closely behind. 

 

*****

 

The rest of the night went by in a blur, the result of drinking way too much when Harry wasn’t supposed to. All Harry could think about was to get more drinks into Louis’ system, and he seemed to forget that at the same time, Zayn and him were both drinking the same amount.

He somehow remembered puling a piece of paper and a pen out from his pocket and writing what looked like a poem. He remembered that all he could think about was how Louis said he never wanted to be lonely. And Harry wasn’t going to let Louis be lonely. Ever.

 

 

*****

 

 

_“Ten! Nine! Eight!” Louis didn’t know where to look._

_“Seven! Six! Five!” He set his eyes on Harry, who was looking at him with a slightly scared but brave expression. Harry was leaning in. Did he want to tell Louis something?_

_“Four! Three! Two!”_

 

**Louis’ birthday party, on Harry’s bed.**

 

Harry didn’t know what to do. Louis had a girlfriend. But she wasn’t here. It’s New Years Eve. Was Louis even leaning in? Or was it him who was leaning in? The time between everyone’s count of “two” and “one” went in slow motion, as if everything around them stopped moving and all Harry could see was Louis. 

Harry started to pull away. He can’t kiss Louis. No. He had a girlfriend. And Louis doesn’t even like him when he isn’t drunk. But Louis said that he is only honest when he is drunk. Before Harry could keep thinking of the pros and cons, Louis pulled Harry in by his neck and their lips touched as the fireworks lit up the night sky outside.

Even though Harry could barely see the fireworks, he could feel them inside of him. Louis’ lips were soft but firm, and their lips slotted perfectly together, as if they were made for each other. 

The kiss was sloppy, Louis being drunk and Harry being in complete shock. They sat there in a sea of presents for the longest time, just kissing. Harry never wanted to let go. He knew that Louis was the one. There was no one else for him. There will never be anyone more perfect than Louis. 

There were tears spilling down his cheeks, but he wasn’t sure if they were Louis’ tears or his own. He’s waited so long for this kiss, whether Louis will remember it or not. And that’s when Harry’s eyes shot open.

Louis was drunk. Very, very drunk. There was a large chance that Louis wouldn’t remember this when he was sober. It wasn’t fair for Harry to take advantage of Louis like this. He was a human being and he should have the right to make his own decisions. No matter how shitty those decisions may be.

So if Harry made Louis drink half the supply they had in the building afterwards, well, no one had to know why. 

 

 

*****

 

_“Well, maybe that was intentional. The bed was drawn to look like a double bed. A bed that should be shared. I think it’s saying that you haven’t found someone to share a messy bedroom with. It’s empty because you’re empty. Maybe when you do find someone, then the drawing will be finished,” Harry said._

 

**Louis’ room, after they kissed for real.**

 

It’s been a month since that night. A month since Louis found out who was actually singing with him in the showers all that time. And no doubt, this month had been the best month of his life. He barely slept in his own room anymore, and the room felt strange to even be in. Louis always wore a mixture of Harry’s and his own clothes, not being able to tell the difference, or just not caring. 

He woke up every morning to a good-morning kiss and a pair of shining green eyes he loved. Everything was exactly the way it should be. All the drama that happened with Eleanor disappeared and it was like she never existed.

Harry spoiled Louis with his song-writing money and in return, Louis spoiled Harry with many, many blow jobs. Louis loved sitting next to Harry as he wrote songs, (which were mainly sappy love songs now) with a cup of tea in his hands, wearing one of Harry’s sweaters. And then Louis would help Harry sing the harmonies in his demos. 

And soon enough, it wasn’t Harry and Louis anymore, it was harryandlouis. They were inseparable and the new people they meet never addressed them separately. 

They spent Harry’s birthday snuggled together in their bed, talking about the most random things about their childhood. Louis replacing Eleanor’s name with ‘a friend’ and Harry leaving out the bullies. And if they had to put a lie in there every now and then, well, it stayed between them anyways. 

Harry gave Louis a mixtape for Valentines Day. On it was every single song they ever sung together in chronological order. The mixtape was titled as “Louis”.

Louis gave Harry a mixtape for Valentines Day. On it was every single song they ever sung together in no particular order. The mixtape was titled as “Stranger”. 

A knock on Louis’ door interrupted his thoughts. Zayn popped his head into the room. “Hey Lou, can I come in?” He asked. Zayn reminded Louis of something. The picture Zayn drew of him on Harry’s bed disappeared a couple days ago.

“Yeah, sure.” Louis gestured to the spot next to him on the bed. Zayn took a piece of paper out from his jacket and handed it to Louis. It was the missing picture, but there was something different. The picture that was originally handed to Louis wasn’t finished. The duvet on the bed was flat, only slightly lifted in the parts Louis’ body was in. The entire back half of the bed wasn’t there, it was just blank.

But the picture didn’t look like that anymore. There were two different bumps under the duvet, one bigger and longer than the other. There were now two heads in the double-bed, one that looked the same as it did before. The other was turned away from the front. All you could see was a mop of curly hair.

“Did you draw Harry into the picture?” Louis said.

“Yeah,” Zayn smiled. “Harry told me what he thought of the picture and that was exactly what I was going for.”

“But I thought you said that it was complete back then.” Louis said, slowly running his hands over the dried pencil and ink.

“It was complete back then,” Zayn said. “And it is complete now. You and Harry belong together, and this drawing wouldn’t make sense if he wasn’t in it. You complete each other.” Zayn put his hand on Louis’ shoulder. “Consider this as a one month anniversary gift, yeah?”

“I love it. Thank you, Zayn.” Louis gave his friend a crushing hug. Zayn walked out of the room and Harry peeked in the door.

“Hey boyfriend.” Harry said.

“Hey boyfriend.” Louis grinned. Harry walked up to Louis and brought him into a hug. Their lips met and they stood there for a while.

“Ready to go?” Harry mumbled on Louis’ lips. They broke away from each other and when Louis nodded, they walked out of the building hand in hand. 

 

 

*****

“ _There’s always going to be people in your life that want to change who you are, then say they like you. Sometimes you don’t even realize it. You can’t see sugar when it’s put into coffee, but you can taste it.” Harry leaned in too. “I don’t want to be like coffee. I want to be like hot chocolate,” Harry beamed._

 

**Outside Barbara’s Bakery, after they kissed for real.**

 

Louis ordered a Cappuccino and he ordered a hot chocolate for Harry. They drank in silence in the almost spring air and watched the people go by in the street in front of them.

“I lied to you.” Harry said all of a sudden.

“Okay?” Louis said with a smile.

“Don’t hate me, okay?” Harry mumbled with his eyes wide. 

“Yeah, of course,” Louis put Harry’s hand in his own. “You’re kind of scaring me now, love.”

Harry took a deep breath and looked at his boyfriend. “Remember how I said that I don’t drink coffee because people only like it when they change an aspect of it?” Louis nodded slowly. “Well, I actually don’t drink it because.” Harry took another deep breath. “Because I don’t like how bitter it is. Coffee tastes horrible.” Louis’ face lit up and he started to laugh a little.

“Oh my god, I thought it would be something serious.” Louis giggled.

“It is serious!” Harry pouted. 

“Alright, alright.” Louis tried to contain his laughter. “My poor baby doesn’t like coffee because it’s bitter. I love you.” Louis cupped Harry’s face and said. The corners of Harry’s lips turned up and he laughed as well. 

“I love you too.” Harry beamed. Louis’ blue eyes met Harry’s green ones. And well, what more do you need?

 

(And maybe Harry started drinking coffee after a while, because reality became better than his dreams.)

 

(And maybe a ring was waiting for Louis in his next cup of coffee.)

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. I can't believe that I wrote this much. Anyways, I hope you like it Veronibell! I hope I didn't go too far away from the prompt you wanted. (Special thanks to my betas, you know who you are)


End file.
